16 August 2008
Wonderful Hospital Births Can Happen Every Time
There's an imbalance in childbirth. Everyone knows it. Women feel defensive about their choices or lack of. Birth providers claim to know what is safe or dangerous. And fathers? Well, they are still pretty much in the dark ages of ‘being there’ without really knowing what to do … not a good path toward self-esteem.
Political debates control the conversation setting up opposition as to what is the best birth: natural versus medical, doctor versus midwife and home versus hospital. Each aspect is then broken down into smaller yet persistent debates such as constant foetal monitoring as standard practice or cesarean delivery for all breeches and twins. The political debate goes on and on and on.
Families are left in a swirl of everyone’s opinion with Birth Plans the only defense or sense of control left to them. On the other hand, many women feel totally comfortable with what their doctor says. There are claims that a birth can never be good because it takes place in hospital. Other claims insist that births in hospitals are the safest and anything else almost verges on the criminal.
What if the debates are much less about the where a woman births or who is the birth provider and more about what expectant parents need to do for themselves regardless of where or with whom they give birth?
What can women do for themselves that always creates a positive birth experience … particularly in hospital births. Come to think about it pregnancy is seems an appropriate time to prepare for birth and learn birth skills. When a woman gives birth in hospital she can use those skills.
In hospital there will be medical assessments, monitoring and procedures. As long as a woman is conscious, she’ll still breathe so good breathing skills such as Directed Breathing comes in handy. Obstetricians, staff and midwives absolutely love to see women cope and manage labour pains. Or if a cesarean delivery is essential, your birth professional will appreciate your using some relaxed breathing techniques during surgery.
That’s also true for our birthing body. We can consciously use relaxation skills to soften inside our body. This reduces birth pains during labour. In a cesarean delivery, this helps us feel more involved in the birth of our baby. Even women who need or desire a cesarean can feel very disconnected during the whole process. By using birth skills, you will participate in the birth process at a deeper level. This leaves positive memories.
Consciously using skills are the actions you can take to work with your baby’s efforts to be born. This is what being involved with birth means. Birth is an action word. It’s not like sitting in a dentist’s chair, but more like a performance or event with the woman doing the performance.
Birthing in hospital is more like a motel and not a prison. Giving birth in hospital can be as full of birth skills as birthing anywhere. Women just need to know what skills to use and those are best learned during pregnancy. This is true for all pregnant women.
Fathers are now expected to help during labour and birth. When men step into hospital it’s very easy for them to feel entirely out of their depth. But no obstetrician will ever stop a dad from breathing with his partner or helping her to relax. Fathers have a job to do … they can learn coaching skills during pregnancy and know what they’re job should be.
No matter what people think, giving birth in a hospital can always be a positive experience because there is so much an expectant parents can do for themselves in whatever birth occurs.
If you believe a hospital is the safest place to give birth then do your best to make the birth even safer and easier through birth preparation that includes learning birth/coaching skills. If you believe hospital is your only option but you’re not happy, then it’s more important that you use your own birth skills to work your way through birth one breath cycle at a time. If you believe hospitals are the worst place in the world and you’re there only because … then using skills keeps you feeling in control of your own birth experience.
The birth you have is up to you when you think outside the box and realize that no one has put birth/coaching skills into the equation. Therefore, people are arguing and debating external factors and not what we can all do for ourselves.
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Saturday, August 16, 2008
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Home Births Are More Than Choice
14 August 2008
Does Choosing A Home Birth Guarantee You’ll Have A Home Birth?
The last thing you want to hear is that your chosen home birth might not be the birth you wanted or hoped for. In fact you might end up transferring to that hated and dreaded hospital. It’s SOOOOO politically incorrect to talk about the lack of success of home births or even how to make home birth success more likely.
Most people assume that ‘choosing’ a home birth is all you need to do. Birth Plans are very much like a wish list or a menu choice. After all we are living in a world where: ‘I know my rights to choose’, ‘I want it now’, ‘If I fail someone else is to blame’ and ‘I’m the victim to the medical community.’
Home births are assumed to be the perfect, ideal and best birth. For those families where a home birth has been absolutely ideal, they have extreme difficulty in imagining the huge sense of failure experienced by many families who had hoped for a home birth and a great birth.
Birth is much more than a choice. There is no way you can know what your birth will be like. What happens at all births is much more connected to how the woman takes the journey of this extraordinary activity. In fact, birth is less a ‘choice’ then an activity and that activity is often connected to the hard work of coping with the naturally occurring pain of labour.
But then it’s SOOOO politically incorrect to even talk about birth pain. Now the words: rush, wave, intensity etc are the preferred words. However, pain it is unless you are one of the very fortunate few who actually experience little or no pain. But home births can be as painful as those in hospital. A great deal of the woman’s job is to cope or manage the pain rather than get lost, feel out of control and overwhelmed.
Because you are choosing a home birth you have a much greater responsibility in a political climate that may not support your choice. If you live in a country that does support your choice then you still have a higher responsibility to safely birth at home so that home births remain a viable option for other families.
The responsibility has to do with preparing our pregnant body for birth so this very large object (our baby) can come out easily and safely. Since birth is an activity, preparing our pregnant body for this activity is very real. Since there’s no way to know what your birth will be like, you need to prepare your body to stay open, mobile and relaxed.
Does Choosing A Home Birth Guarantee You’ll Have A Home Birth?
The last thing you want to hear is that your chosen home birth might not be the birth you wanted or hoped for. In fact you might end up transferring to that hated and dreaded hospital. It’s SOOOOO politically incorrect to talk about the lack of success of home births or even how to make home birth success more likely.
Most people assume that ‘choosing’ a home birth is all you need to do. Birth Plans are very much like a wish list or a menu choice. After all we are living in a world where: ‘I know my rights to choose’, ‘I want it now’, ‘If I fail someone else is to blame’ and ‘I’m the victim to the medical community.’
Home births are assumed to be the perfect, ideal and best birth. For those families where a home birth has been absolutely ideal, they have extreme difficulty in imagining the huge sense of failure experienced by many families who had hoped for a home birth and a great birth.
Birth is much more than a choice. There is no way you can know what your birth will be like. What happens at all births is much more connected to how the woman takes the journey of this extraordinary activity. In fact, birth is less a ‘choice’ then an activity and that activity is often connected to the hard work of coping with the naturally occurring pain of labour.
But then it’s SOOOO politically incorrect to even talk about birth pain. Now the words: rush, wave, intensity etc are the preferred words. However, pain it is unless you are one of the very fortunate few who actually experience little or no pain. But home births can be as painful as those in hospital. A great deal of the woman’s job is to cope or manage the pain rather than get lost, feel out of control and overwhelmed.
Because you are choosing a home birth you have a much greater responsibility in a political climate that may not support your choice. If you live in a country that does support your choice then you still have a higher responsibility to safely birth at home so that home births remain a viable option for other families.
The responsibility has to do with preparing our pregnant body for birth so this very large object (our baby) can come out easily and safely. Since birth is an activity, preparing our pregnant body for this activity is very real. Since there’s no way to know what your birth will be like, you need to prepare your body to stay open, mobile and relaxed.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Hey You Dad ... Do You Really Know How To Help At Birth?
12 August 2008
Expectant Fathers-to-be Are Expected To ‘Do Something’ At The Birth Of Their Children ... What’s Your Role?
Since the 1970s, fathers have been permitted to be with their partner during labour and delivery. Actually women wanted their husbands to come and help. Before that, most women were left alone and really wanted someone to help them cope with labour pain. It took a while longer for fathers to be permitted into a cesarean delivery.
Everyone expects YOU to know what to do. But who taught you how to help a woman give birth? Actually if you ask your partner who taught her how-to give birth, she’ll probably tell you ‘no one.’ For such a big experience you’d think we’d have more education or know how.
If you’ve paid any attention to your role, you’ve probably heard that you should support your partner. Has anyone defined the word ‘support’ to you? Is it ‘being there?’ And what does that mean?
In the 1970s fathers were expected to ‘coach’. That term went out of fashion because some people thought that was ‘telling women what to do’ … sort of like a sport’s coach screaming from the sideline. Now that’s a cartoon for our heads.
However, let’s really think about these two terms and you can decide for yourself which role you want. When you support someone, you are there. Some support actions are: holding hands, wiping the face with a wash clothe, being hung on, massage or even breathing along with the woman. This is if she is labouring. If she is having a surgical delivery … a cesarean then supporting her means sitting by her side, holding her hand and ‘being there’.
Coaching someone can use the same actions as a ‘support’ as well as give guidance, work together with and share a set of skills. Coaching is supporting with the ability to really help. Which do you want to do? Which do you think she really wants?
So, let’s back up. When is the best time to learn these skills? During pregnancy seems like the most appropriate time. In fact common sense would suggest that pregnancy, preparing for birth and learning birth skills go together.
Until 24 weeks no one is really thinking about ‘the birth’ but after 24 weeks time seems to fly by. Each week gets you closer to the Big Day, so it’s a natural time to prepare for birth whether your partner will have a labour/delivery or a cesarean delivery. There are wonderful coaching skills to learn such as Directed Breathing, the Pelvic Clock, Hip Lift, Sacral Manoeuvre or Deep Touch Relaxation.
These are skills based on our human body. Men and women have very similar ones and birth is the same worldwide, so such skills work well with whatever is happening in your life or what will happen in the birth.
Birth skills go into any birth as they should. Your partner will always breathe and you can help her do so in the most relaxed manner. Her body will always be in some posture or position and you can help her remain relaxed.
Big news … women’s brains work overtime during birth even if they don’t do a lot of talking. So coaching your partner during labour and birth will help her feel more in control and an active participant. She’ll be able to work with your baby’s efforts to be born which leaves everyone feeling empowered.
Not only does your partner want you to help her, your obstetrician or midwife absolutely wants you to help as well. They just don't want you to get in the way of their need to do any medical care.
As a father-to-be what will you get out of being a great birth coach? You’ll get lots of pride, lots of gratitude from your partner and praise from your birth provider. How will that feel as part of the memories you'll have about the birth of your children?
Remember you already know that pregnancy is an action word with your partner’s body changing and your baby growing. Birth is an action word too. Your partner has to do the work and you have to move beyond just ‘being there’ to taking an active role as a great birth coach who supports and offers skills as well.
Expectant Fathers-to-be Are Expected To ‘Do Something’ At The Birth Of Their Children ... What’s Your Role?
Since the 1970s, fathers have been permitted to be with their partner during labour and delivery. Actually women wanted their husbands to come and help. Before that, most women were left alone and really wanted someone to help them cope with labour pain. It took a while longer for fathers to be permitted into a cesarean delivery.
Everyone expects YOU to know what to do. But who taught you how to help a woman give birth? Actually if you ask your partner who taught her how-to give birth, she’ll probably tell you ‘no one.’ For such a big experience you’d think we’d have more education or know how.
If you’ve paid any attention to your role, you’ve probably heard that you should support your partner. Has anyone defined the word ‘support’ to you? Is it ‘being there?’ And what does that mean?
In the 1970s fathers were expected to ‘coach’. That term went out of fashion because some people thought that was ‘telling women what to do’ … sort of like a sport’s coach screaming from the sideline. Now that’s a cartoon for our heads.
However, let’s really think about these two terms and you can decide for yourself which role you want. When you support someone, you are there. Some support actions are: holding hands, wiping the face with a wash clothe, being hung on, massage or even breathing along with the woman. This is if she is labouring. If she is having a surgical delivery … a cesarean then supporting her means sitting by her side, holding her hand and ‘being there’.
Coaching someone can use the same actions as a ‘support’ as well as give guidance, work together with and share a set of skills. Coaching is supporting with the ability to really help. Which do you want to do? Which do you think she really wants?
So, let’s back up. When is the best time to learn these skills? During pregnancy seems like the most appropriate time. In fact common sense would suggest that pregnancy, preparing for birth and learning birth skills go together.
Until 24 weeks no one is really thinking about ‘the birth’ but after 24 weeks time seems to fly by. Each week gets you closer to the Big Day, so it’s a natural time to prepare for birth whether your partner will have a labour/delivery or a cesarean delivery. There are wonderful coaching skills to learn such as Directed Breathing, the Pelvic Clock, Hip Lift, Sacral Manoeuvre or Deep Touch Relaxation.
These are skills based on our human body. Men and women have very similar ones and birth is the same worldwide, so such skills work well with whatever is happening in your life or what will happen in the birth.
Birth skills go into any birth as they should. Your partner will always breathe and you can help her do so in the most relaxed manner. Her body will always be in some posture or position and you can help her remain relaxed.
Big news … women’s brains work overtime during birth even if they don’t do a lot of talking. So coaching your partner during labour and birth will help her feel more in control and an active participant. She’ll be able to work with your baby’s efforts to be born which leaves everyone feeling empowered.
Not only does your partner want you to help her, your obstetrician or midwife absolutely wants you to help as well. They just don't want you to get in the way of their need to do any medical care.
As a father-to-be what will you get out of being a great birth coach? You’ll get lots of pride, lots of gratitude from your partner and praise from your birth provider. How will that feel as part of the memories you'll have about the birth of your children?
Remember you already know that pregnancy is an action word with your partner’s body changing and your baby growing. Birth is an action word too. Your partner has to do the work and you have to move beyond just ‘being there’ to taking an active role as a great birth coach who supports and offers skills as well.
Sunday, August 10, 2008
100% Of Pregnant YOU Will Give Birth
10 August 2008
One Hundred Percent Of Pregnant Women Will Give Birth … One Way Or Another.
Hope you agree with the title. You are never pregnant forever and aren’t you glad of that. Yes, unfortunately some pregnancies end with a miscarriage.
The operative part of the title is actually ‘one way or another.’ As a reader, you are unique. Your life is full of your life and the choices about birth centers around your life. No one is the same. Everyone is different. Is that accurate?
Don’t all humans blink, cough, have one head, breathe in our nose and put food in our mouth? In fact, we have much more in common than differences. During pregnancy, no woman stores her baby behind her shoulder blades.
There are only two ways to give birth: surgical delivery (a very new invention) and out from ‘down there’ (the historic way).
Whichever way you give birth, your body is preparing for birth from 24 weeks onward. Doesn’t it make incredible common sense that we prepare our pregnant body for birth and learn good birthing skills? Well this should make commonsense. There are two reasons. First, you can totally enjoy preparing for birth. It doesn’t happen frequently and it’s such a special time. Enjoy, enjoy and enjoy. This also brings you closer to your baby and partner and brings your partner closer to your pregnancy. What’s neat is that men have the same body so it’s easy for him to help you prepare your body for birth.
Secondly, birth is such an important and big event in life that you really should be working with your baby’s efforts during the birth whether it’s the new or historic way. Birth is birth.
Birth is full of excitement. Birth is a process for both the woman and the baby. At first the woman provides a space for the baby to grow and then the baby is working to come out of the woman’s body and the woman’s body is responding to the baby’s work.
This is a wonderful time to use birth skills such as Directed Breathing, the Pelvic Clock or Deep Touch Relaxation. When these skills are learned by you and your partner, you work together as a family which is about to become a larger family. Enjoy the time together. You can use your birth skills and side by side coaching skills at every moment of each contraction or during the surgery and recovery if you have a cesarean delivery.
By using your birth skills you get to impress in your memory what you have done for yourself in whatever birth you have. The birth memories you create have less to do with what happens to you than what you do for yourself. We can embrace what we share as human beings which is very neat. This means we can appreciate our uniqueness and yet feel connected to the backward and forward longevity of our species.
When you use your birth skills you will have a positive birth experience. You’ll feel competent, capable and confident about your role in the birth of your baby. That’s a wonderful, wonderful feeling no one can take away from you.
One Hundred Percent Of Pregnant Women Will Give Birth … One Way Or Another.
Hope you agree with the title. You are never pregnant forever and aren’t you glad of that. Yes, unfortunately some pregnancies end with a miscarriage.
The operative part of the title is actually ‘one way or another.’ As a reader, you are unique. Your life is full of your life and the choices about birth centers around your life. No one is the same. Everyone is different. Is that accurate?
Don’t all humans blink, cough, have one head, breathe in our nose and put food in our mouth? In fact, we have much more in common than differences. During pregnancy, no woman stores her baby behind her shoulder blades.
There are only two ways to give birth: surgical delivery (a very new invention) and out from ‘down there’ (the historic way).
Whichever way you give birth, your body is preparing for birth from 24 weeks onward. Doesn’t it make incredible common sense that we prepare our pregnant body for birth and learn good birthing skills? Well this should make commonsense. There are two reasons. First, you can totally enjoy preparing for birth. It doesn’t happen frequently and it’s such a special time. Enjoy, enjoy and enjoy. This also brings you closer to your baby and partner and brings your partner closer to your pregnancy. What’s neat is that men have the same body so it’s easy for him to help you prepare your body for birth.
Secondly, birth is such an important and big event in life that you really should be working with your baby’s efforts during the birth whether it’s the new or historic way. Birth is birth.
Birth is full of excitement. Birth is a process for both the woman and the baby. At first the woman provides a space for the baby to grow and then the baby is working to come out of the woman’s body and the woman’s body is responding to the baby’s work.
This is a wonderful time to use birth skills such as Directed Breathing, the Pelvic Clock or Deep Touch Relaxation. When these skills are learned by you and your partner, you work together as a family which is about to become a larger family. Enjoy the time together. You can use your birth skills and side by side coaching skills at every moment of each contraction or during the surgery and recovery if you have a cesarean delivery.
By using your birth skills you get to impress in your memory what you have done for yourself in whatever birth you have. The birth memories you create have less to do with what happens to you than what you do for yourself. We can embrace what we share as human beings which is very neat. This means we can appreciate our uniqueness and yet feel connected to the backward and forward longevity of our species.
When you use your birth skills you will have a positive birth experience. You’ll feel competent, capable and confident about your role in the birth of your baby. That’s a wonderful, wonderful feeling no one can take away from you.
100% Of Pregnant YOU Will Give Birth
10 August 2008
One Hundred Percent Of Pregnant Women Will Give Birth … One Way Or Another.
Hope you agree with the title. You are never pregnant forever and aren’t you glad of that. Yes, unfortunately some pregnancies end with a miscarriage.
The operative part of the title is actually ‘one way or another.’ As a reader, you are unique. Your life is full of your life and the choices about birth centers around your life. No one is the same. Everyone is different. Is that accurate?
Don’t all humans blink, cough, have one head, breathe in our nose and put food in our mouth? In fact, we have much more in common than differences. During pregnancy, no woman stores her baby behind her shoulder blades.
There are only two ways to give birth: surgical delivery (a very new invention) and out from ‘down there’ (the historic way).
Whichever way you give birth, your body is preparing for birth from 24 weeks onward. Doesn’t it make incredible common sense that we prepare our pregnant body for birth and learn good birthing skills? Well this should make commonsense. There are two reasons. First, you can totally enjoy preparing for birth. It doesn’t happen frequently and it’s such a special time. Enjoy, enjoy and enjoy. This also brings you closer to your baby and partner and brings your partner closer to your pregnancy. What’s neat is that men have the same body so it’s easy for him to help you prepare your body for birth.
Secondly, birth is such an important and big event in life that you really should be working with your baby’s efforts during the birth whether it’s the new or historic way. Birth is birth.
Birth is full of excitement. Birth is a process for both the woman and the baby. At first the woman provides a space for the baby to grow and then the baby is working to come out of the woman’s body and the woman’s body is responding to the baby’s work.
This is a wonderful time to use birth skills such as Directed Breathing, the Pelvic Clock or Deep Touch Relaxation. When these skills are learned by you and your partner, you work together as a family which is about to become a larger family. Enjoy the time together. You can use your birth skills and side by side coaching skills at every moment of each contraction or during the surgery and recovery if you have a cesarean delivery.
By using your birth skills you get to impress in your memory what you have done for yourself in whatever birth you have. The birth memories you create have less to do with what happens to you than what you do for yourself. We can embrace what we share as human beings which is very neat. This means we can appreciate our uniqueness and yet feel connected to the backward and forward longevity of our species.
When you use your birth skills you will have a positive birth experience. You’ll feel competent, capable and confident about your role in the birth of your baby. That’s a wonderful, wonderful feeling no one can take away from you.
One Hundred Percent Of Pregnant Women Will Give Birth … One Way Or Another.
Hope you agree with the title. You are never pregnant forever and aren’t you glad of that. Yes, unfortunately some pregnancies end with a miscarriage.
The operative part of the title is actually ‘one way or another.’ As a reader, you are unique. Your life is full of your life and the choices about birth centers around your life. No one is the same. Everyone is different. Is that accurate?
Don’t all humans blink, cough, have one head, breathe in our nose and put food in our mouth? In fact, we have much more in common than differences. During pregnancy, no woman stores her baby behind her shoulder blades.
There are only two ways to give birth: surgical delivery (a very new invention) and out from ‘down there’ (the historic way).
Whichever way you give birth, your body is preparing for birth from 24 weeks onward. Doesn’t it make incredible common sense that we prepare our pregnant body for birth and learn good birthing skills? Well this should make commonsense. There are two reasons. First, you can totally enjoy preparing for birth. It doesn’t happen frequently and it’s such a special time. Enjoy, enjoy and enjoy. This also brings you closer to your baby and partner and brings your partner closer to your pregnancy. What’s neat is that men have the same body so it’s easy for him to help you prepare your body for birth.
Secondly, birth is such an important and big event in life that you really should be working with your baby’s efforts during the birth whether it’s the new or historic way. Birth is birth.
Birth is full of excitement. Birth is a process for both the woman and the baby. At first the woman provides a space for the baby to grow and then the baby is working to come out of the woman’s body and the woman’s body is responding to the baby’s work.
This is a wonderful time to use birth skills such as Directed Breathing, the Pelvic Clock or Deep Touch Relaxation. When these skills are learned by you and your partner, you work together as a family which is about to become a larger family. Enjoy the time together. You can use your birth skills and side by side coaching skills at every moment of each contraction or during the surgery and recovery if you have a cesarean delivery.
By using your birth skills you get to impress in your memory what you have done for yourself in whatever birth you have. The birth memories you create have less to do with what happens to you than what you do for yourself. We can embrace what we share as human beings which is very neat. This means we can appreciate our uniqueness and yet feel connected to the backward and forward longevity of our species.
When you use your birth skills you will have a positive birth experience. You’ll feel competent, capable and confident about your role in the birth of your baby. That’s a wonderful, wonderful feeling no one can take away from you.
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