Childbirth And Our Ethnic Differences

2 August 2008

Ethnic Women Preparing For Childbirth


One thing is certain we are all the same. Some people believe that we need to recognize and accept our differences before we acknowledge our similarities but this is really nonsense. Primarily we are the same.

Every human being has the same number of bones and muscles. We all have a mouth, nose, two eyes, two ears. Our physiological processes are exactly the same as well. When it come to childbirth every woman carries their baby inside their body and when it comes to giving birth one contraction follows another. Finally a baby exists out of our birth canal. Not one baby comes out our ear or from the top of our head.

There is no doubt we think differently, have different beliefs, speak different languages as well as wear different clothing, make different foods and home. We even have different ways of managing the same physiological processes.

But when it comes to childbirth there are few variables to the experience. This means there must be ways to prepare for childbirth that transcends our ethnic differences and skills we can universally use to cope with the naturally occurring pain of contractions.

The one aspect of childbirth that we must acknowledge and work with is the role of pain in labour. When any woman has contractions that are not painful she gets on with whatever she is doing at the moment. Of course she is aware that this is the day she will give birth, but painless contractions aren’t much to fuss about.

And some women have that painless labour until their baby comes out. However, this is less common than having a period of painful and often very painful contractions. Everywhere in the world there are women faced with, dealing with and trying to cope with birth pain. For those of us who have experienced birth pain we know it can be very, very intense.

Having a universal set of birth preparation skills and labour management skills can definitely cross all ethnic boundaries. Every woman would benefit from knowing exactly where to soften and relax inside her pelvis because every human has the same pelvis and soft tissue. We all have the neo-cortex that can intentionally direct attention and action from our mind to body. This is one of the abilities humans all share.

When we couple our mind to our body intentionally this is called ‘skill’. Every woman can intentionally soften inside her right hip, left hip, inside her sacrum or inside her pubic bone. By doing so she creates more space for her baby and reduces internal tension that often leads to increased pain when a contraction happens.

What is fascinating, amazing and real is the fact that human men can do the same thing. Depending on who the woman’s support person will be …whether her mother or husband, everyone can do the same thing. This way people can work together to help her cope with labour pain.

There are so many ways to prepare our birthing body such as learning to keep our sacrum mobile (Kate’s Cat), creating side-to-side opening of our bony pelvis (Hip Lift) or creating space back-to-front (Sacral Manoeuvre) can be learned by all pregnant women. We can also learn the 4 Types of Breathing and which ones we use when we are relaxed or in pain and why it’s so important to use human willpower, determination and ‘choice’ to use relaxed breathing during painful contractions.

Our differences will flourish around our pregnancy and birth as we each celebrate our diverse ethic backgrounds. Creating a universal set of skills to be used during pregnancy and birth in no ways lessens our cultural importance. Good relaxing and breathing skills just blend into our ethnic backgrounds because on a deep level we do recognize our humanity.

Often when women birth, they become aware that they are part of an unbroken line of childbirth reaching back into the far Past. We know that women forever have given birth in the same way. It is during childbirth our oneness is made so obvious and unquestionable.

Fathers ... You Need To Know More!

31 July 2008

Fathers Who Have Been Present At A Good Birth

Boy are men relieved when their partner has a good birth experience. Sometimes men feel they’ve had little to do with achieving that although knowing that you’ve been a good support person during labour has definitely helped.

If you believe that a previous good birth means your partner will have another good birth think twice. Every birth is different and there is no way you can predetermine that the next birth will be like.

It’s so easy to assume that once a good birth always a good birth. Too many women and men have been totally blown away by a subsequent birth being more difficult.

Actually birth is very much like an athletic event and you already know that. You have to keep preparing and practicing if you are going to do the event again. It’s ridiculously stupid to assume good previous performance means repeatedly good future performances.

Athletes have to hone their skills. However, you might not really have felt that you had skills at the previous good birth. Many men see birth as something women ‘do’. That’s right. However, women wanted you to be at the birth with them to help. Sure you might have been a great support last time by holding her hand, breathing with her, rubbing her back or holding her up for hours.

Many men however aren’t really certain they knew how-to help. In a Feminist world there is a great belief that men and women are very different. But that’s actually not entirely true.

Do you know any man or woman who doesn’t blink, sneeze, cough or can tighten up their biceps? We all can. We share the exact same bones and muscles. There are birth and coaching skills based on this reality that can do several things.

First, whether or not this next birth is as perfect as the last, enjoy preparing your partner’s birthing body during pregnancy … particularly from 24 weeks on. This way you’ll help her more likely to have a great birth next time.
Second, learning great coaching skills means you work together with your baby’s efforts to be born. This means you have to shift your head around the difference between supporting and coaching. Coaching gives you the ability to see and hear when your partner needs some help to cope with the naturally occurring pain of childbirth and then use your common skills. This means you can support and give guidance and help so she stays on top of the sensations.

If the birth for some reason is either more difficult or even requires a surgical delivery, you still have the shared skills with which to work. This is all good. The birth of your baby deserves total, conscious involvement on your part. Besides your partner knows the difference between just being there and helping her. Which do you think she wants?

When you learn birth skills with your partner that are based on our shared human body and how to specifically prepare our body for birth then your good birth experience will be even more enriched.

There is no doubt many women don’t know why or how they had a good birth. With birth skills women are more likely to consciously work with their baby’s efforts. This becomes an internal dance with the sensations and messages known only to them selves. However, when you and she share a common set of birth and coaching skills you become closer as a couple.

You know that giving birth is definitely not a noun or inaction. Your role as a father who has been at a previous good birth is not to be a spectator nor passive to be hung on. Your role is to actively work with your partner and this can be achieved by learning skills together such as Directed Breathing, The Pelvic Clock and Deep Touch Relaxation.

Even if your partner has had a previous good birth, preparing her birthing body will give her more confidence to meet the challenge of labour no matter what. No woman likes to be surprised and unprepared particularly if they have believed once a good birth always a good birth.

Having a good birth is about being involved at every moment of the experience and knowing you are working together with your baby.
Another good birth can be so much more enriching rather than feel accidental. Achieving a good subsequent birth has a great deal to do with what we do in pregnancy to prepare and learning the appropriate birth and coaching skills for the task that does unfold.

As a man who has been at a previous good birth, you will never regret spending time during pregnancy to learn good coaching skills. Just as your fathering skills grow, so can your ability to bring forth your baby.

Pregnant Disabled Women

29 July 2008

Pregnant Women With Disabilities Preparing For Childbirth


Some disabilities will impact pregnancy and childbirth. Disabled pregnant women who live in modern countries will have access to very sophisticated medical maternity care. Regardless of whether your disability will require more medical care is not the emphasis of this article.

In fact this article is more about what we all share in common, how we can all prepare our pregnant body for birth and what skills we can all use to work with our baby’s efforts to be born.

Notice nowhere in the above sentence was the word ‘natural’ birth mentioned. Certainly every single pregnant woman deserves and is entitled to a positive birth experience. There is no doubt there are many aspects of modern childbirth that would seem to be antithesis to having a positive birth. Women can feel like a piece of meat heading down a conveyor belt even if they appreciate the care and believe it’s necessary.

However here is where we can distinguish between what ‘they’ do and what ‘we’ do. Pregnancy is happening within our body even if we have a disability. This means we can prepare for the birth of our baby. And doesn’t it make sense that we prepare for birth during pregnancy? In fact there is a time in pregnancy when preparing for birth becomes obvious … from 24 weeks onward. Each week after 24 weeks the uterus becomes obviously bigger. The mind also becomes increasingly more focused on the ‘Big Day’.

Preparing for childbirth has transcends any disability you might have. Your role as a mother-to-be is to prepare your body to help your baby come out. Even if you will have a cesarean delivery, why not enjoy preparing for the birth. Your body is still planning on giving birth. Having a cesarean happens in the mind not in the body. All the birth changes still occur which means you can totally enjoy preparing your pregnant body for birth.

As you prepare your pregnant body for birth, you can also learn great birth skills and your partner can learn their equally important coaching skills such as Directed Breathing, the Pelvic Clock or Deep Touch Relaxation, Kate’s Cat, Hip Lift and Sacral Manoeuvre. As a woman with a disability, you will give birth just like the other 100% of pregnant women. This means all of us can have a great bag of childbirth skills whether we labour or not, whether we have a natural or medical birth, have an obstetrician or midwife or have a home or hospital birth.

Birth is birth and using your childbirth skills just enhances your birth experience and helps your baby’s efforts to be born. This is the most exciting thing we can do for ourselves and this leads to a positive birth at every single birth. Having a disability will impact your life you know that because you’re living with your disability. Yet preparing your pregnant body for birth then using your birth skills makes you exactly the same as every single woman who is pregnant and going to give birth. Ultimately, this one human experience is entirely ours to be fully experienced.

What Is Directed Breathing In Childbirth?

Although breathing techniques were popular as a way to prepare for childbirth in the 1970s, birth skills have gone out of popularity. The most common and well-known breathing techniques were Lamaze. This was very popular with expectant families particularly in the US at a time when childbirth choices had become more available.

The purpose of breathing techniques has been to distract women from the naturally occurring pain of contractions. There are many theories surrounding the use of breathing techniques as a useful tool for self-management of birth pain. Another benefit of learning breathing techniques in giving fathers an active role in coaching birth.

For most of the history of modern maternity medical care women laboured alone either in a ward separated by curtains, a semi-private or private room. By the mid-1960s women demanded the presence of their husband during labour. They didn’t want to be alone. They wanted help in coping with labour pain. The most natural person to help was the husband. After all he was going to be a father and women rightly believed that men should understand how hard labour was. Many men felt left out of the whole birth arena. Although some cultures excluded fathers historically, there were many cultures where fathers were actively involved.

A man who learned breathing techniques was much more likely to actively help his partner manage contractions. This built family relationship. Men appreciated the hard work of labour, often grew in admiration of women and bonded more easily with their baby.

However, breathing techniques didn’t always work. The most common reason that breathing techniques didn’t work had to do with the intensity of pain. When the pain became very intense in the perception of the woman, often she felt out of control and lost control of the techniques she was taught.

This had a spin off effect for the man. Often men thought that the pain had shifted into a ‘problem’. This was mixed with a belief that the woman knew what she was doing or that her feeling out of control was a normal part of labour. This led to confusion. While the woman often wanted her husband to help her, he was often uncertain how to or whether he could or should. Sometimes he just wanted the obstetrician to come in and ‘do something’ to put her out of her misery.

Directed Breathing is an entirely different way to use our breathing in labour. We breathe all the time and will continue to breathe in labour whether we groan, scream or are very quiet. Breathing techniques are based on theories about breath, where Directed Breathing is based on what we do as humans when we breathe in different situations or activities.

The one and only contributing factor to a change in a woman’s breath in labour is directly due to the amount of pain she is experiencing. Pain is subjective yet if any person who experiences what they perceive of as painful will find their breath changing. Usually one pain response is to increase the rate of our breathing or to begin to make sounds. Groaning, moaning, hyperventilating are all part of this common response to feelings of pain.

Directed Breathing childbirth skills move us from merely using a technique to understanding how humans breathe when they feel pain and when we are relaxed. Birth pain is unique. It’s usually not coupled with an injury, sickness or even a ‘problem’. It naturally occurs and is connected to the opening of our cervix that is the closure of our womb. When a baby is ready to be born, the cervix must open. This stretching causes pain during the contractions that are the action of the womb to tug open the cervix.

Learning Directed Breathing skills is vitally important during pregnancy. All humans breathe the same way so men and women will both understand what relaxed breathing feels like compared to stressed breathing. This means couples can work more closely and men can understand the sounds a woman makes in labour and what it means.

Directed Breathing skills do create a focus to work with the baby’s efforts to be born even if your inner voice doesn’t like the experience. Using Directed Breathing permits us to use our willpower, determination and choice at every moment of birth. In fact as contractions get more painful, we are more likely to use our Directed Breathing skills more deeply. It makes common sense and becomes our default behavior. Our partner can model the best breathing type and work with us at every phase of each contraction.

Birth preparation and childbirth skills will become the common sense approach to pregnancy in time because they work in all births. Directed Breathing skills can be learned when you are planning a cesarean and used during delivery and recovery. Birth is birth. We will all breathe. Intentionally using your Directed Breathing skills will give you a sense of control of the experience as well as working with your baby’s efforts. This is terrific.