I loved finding this quote today because it says so much about how The Pink Kit improves the changes of communication within our own minds and with others.
Communication is definitely a major issue in childbirth. The first issue facing many families has to do with the choices they want to make about the birth of their baby ... and how to communicate that within the family and to the birth professionals.
There are many women who want their birth to be as they see it. Some of these pregnant women want more choices than either their family or obstetrician/midwife thinks is best. A vaginal birth after a cesarean delivery is one example. The family might feel frightened and the birth provider might consider such a birth to be risky.
On the other hand, a woman might want to choose a cesarean delivery although there is no specific medical reason. Her friends might consider this weird while her birth provider might not believe that is a medically sound because of the increased risks of cesarean delivery.
Then there's communication inside a pregnant woman's head about her birth. There is so much blame, shame and guilt surrounding birth now. Birth is also a huge gateway to become a parent. Being a parent means both the mother and father has to leave behind their own child-self and become a full fledged adult willing to go the extra yards even if they don't like it.
Often pregnancy and birth has a private dialogue in head of the woman that can sound like this: 'I can't, I don't want to, NO, f.... it, too hard'.
For men in modern society there is nothing done to help them move into the role of father. The self-communication inside many men's heads goes like this: 'I'll leave it to the woman', 'I don't have a clue', 'I'm a failure and never do it right'.
Private communication like this does not bode well for our confidence as a parent. On top of that is the inability of couples to communicate these issues and feelings with each other.
Then there's the birth itself. Birth is a bit surreal no matter what happens or where. Birth is like compressing parenting into a 24 hour period. Imagine raising a baby through to 21 years in just 24 hours.
Lots of internal communication goes on. Women often feel disconnected from the experience whether they give birth vaginally or surgically, at home or hospital. It's a surreal experience and stimulates lots of self-talk ... not all of it positive.
There's also lots of communication with the partner who is the support person. Women have heightened sensitivity during birth and often the partner seems very distant or just an object to hang on. Communication often leaves everyone aware of the lack of communication. This can have huge implications to the family for years.
Then there's the communication with the birth professionals. We become aware that we're just another birth for them rather than truly a person. Often a person's style makes a huge difference in how well we believe communication has occurred.
So where does The Pink Kit Package come into this issue of communication and IMPROVING it? There are several factors.
- The Pink Kit skills are about human bodily behaviors: breathing and relaxation. This means everyone can hear the difference between stressed or relaxed breathing once they've learned. Everyone can feel tension and know that relaxing that tension is the same for everyone therefore it's easier to communicate how to relax.
- Pink Kit communication is both verbal and non-verbal. Using non-verbal communication is often easier in labour.
- Pink Kit skills respects the negative communication and teaches people they can be of 'two minds' ... the negative and the manager. This improves self communication by reducing the shame of having negative thoughts. So what ... just manage around it. That's what parent/adult does. You don't have to like it to get on with it.
- Separates the role of you as a woman giving birth, your partner who can help you and the birth provider. When you have your own set of birth skills, no one knows you are using them but you. When your partner knows these skills your birth provider might not have a clue both of you are using skills ... it's not their job. This means you can communicate with your provider while getting on with your skills. This makes you feel much more connected and less surreal.
The Pink Kit skills excel in developing good communication and how to get it back on track. The Pink Kit skills heightens our ability to know when we are communicating well and that this is actually what builds relationships.
