Another Pink Kit Story To The Midwive's group

12 Oct 2007

Here is a Pink Kit story from another woman in the UK who used The Pink Kit. I also asked her to write her stories so I could read them to the midwifery group last Tuesday.


My name is Kate and I have 2 Pint Kit babies! I would have liked to come with Wintergreen to your meeting but I have an important appointment at my son's school that I can't miss so I thought I'd write to you instead.

I feel very proud of the way I handled the births of both my boys. I felt empowered and in control (most of the time) and when I lost it a little I was able to re-focus. I do put this down to the skills both Matt (my husband) and I learned by working through the Pink Kit.

Images portrayed on the TV of the screaming woman swearing at her partner don't help when you are facing birth for the first time. Instead I think that society should expect women to learn how to give birth. I was told many times throughout my pregnancy that my body would know what to do, but how is that possible if my mind hadn't connected with it?

The classes at the hospital were all about information and choices. The choice of hospital, pain relief, natural birth, ceasarian etc, I really felt that there was something missing. Where were the breathing classes that my Mum went to in her day? We are expected to make choices but are not expected or given the opportunity to learn the necessary skills.

I believe that all pregnant women should have access to the Pink Kit to learn about their birthing body, mentally prepare for what lies ahead, and have communication skills and coping mechanisms in place before their birth. If you've done the work for yourself it will come naturally on the day. You'll instinctively know not to tense up, and if you do start to feel tense you have the practised skills to release that tension. If you don't realize you are tensing up, your birthing partner will have learnt to recognise your breathing signs and will know the best way to communicate that to you because you have practised it together. If it doesn't quite go the way you planned, you've learnt the skills to adapt and cope with every eventuality.

Many Dads I know felt powerless at the births of their children, hated seeing their partners in pain and being unable to do anything to help. They felt totally unconnected to the birthing experience. If you do the PK work together it's a shared experience. As a birthing woman you don't feel like your out there on your own and your partner is providing very valuable support.

All I can say now is I had two great birthing experiences and I look back on them with a sence of pride. For alot of my friends (who didn't have access to the PK) it's a very different story.

All the best

K ...

Pink Kit Story Told To Independent Midwife Group

11 Oct 2007

Several women who have used The Pink Kit Package and who live in the UK, sent along their Pink Kit birth stories so I could read them to the group of independent midwives to whom I spoke on Tuesday.

As you can tell, I suggested this. Who better to listen to than someone who has recently used The Pink Kit Package and yet is far enough away from the experience to explain the long lasting and positive Pink Kit birth they had.

Here's one.

Dear Annie,

I promised Wintergreen that I would pass along some of
my feedback on using the Pink Kit to you for your chat
tomorrow, as I am unable to attend in person, as it
would probably be too difficult with my little one.

I chanced upon the PK on a favourite midwifery website
of mine and it had been in the back of my mind for a
while. Although I hadn’t known anyone who spoke of it
or knew it, when I was pregnant I knew that I wanted
to help myself prepare for labour and the birth as
best possible. I was sure that knowing how to relax my
body and go with the labour would be the key to
coping. Also being a midwife and having seen many
labours and births (especially first timers), this
seemed to be true. I knew that I couldn’t rely on my
midwife or anyone else during the labour, but that I
needed to take responsibility for how I would cope
with events.

The PK surpassed all my expectations in terms of what
it offered and all the different issues and topics it
addressed. I learned much more than just how to relax.
In fact, I really got to know my body! Learning how to
relax different parts of my body, all the internal
pelvic structures, and being able to identify them and
my unique shape, was such an asset to coping with
labour. My partner was so involved with me during
labour, especially when I was at home, and through
practising the different skills with me was able to
keep me focused and in control of much of my labour.
It was a special and bonding experience to practise
the skills together during the pregnancy and made us
feel more confident, knowing that we were preparing as
best we could for such an exciting, life-changing
time. We felt strong together as a team.

What is so special about the PK is how educational it
is. You really learn about your own unique body and
how to work with it, through positions and movements,
to progress through labour and keep it flowing. I was
fascinated by the many, varied skills we learned, for
getting past problems like an anterior lip or slow
progress in second stage. I only wished we had
practised more so that these skills would have been
more second-nature, as I started to struggle at 9cms.
Thus the PK is more than just theoretical knowledge.
It is hands-on, do-it-yourself, make it work for you,
skills that you apply directly during labour and
really work.

Through sharing past stories and anecdotes, and the
clear, practical advice it gives, the PK helps dispel
many of the fears and worries that many women have
regarding labour and birth. It made me feel more
confident that I would find the strength within me to
cope by having numerous skills to take along into the
birth and my husband also felt more sure of what his
role would be and how best to support me. It’s also
quite interesting as the PK motivates you to do it
better next time, as it helps you realize what areas
were difficult and how to surmount that issue for the
next birth. Truly addicting! Wintergreen has also been
an amazing person, so knowledgeable and supportive in
my processing of my birth experience.
If every woman and partner out there learned the PK
skills before their birth, childbirth would change
forever. I feel that certainly more women would have a
straightforward birth, but also, cope better with the
experience and feel good about how they did, knowing
they did their best to prepare for it and knowing what
to expect. I certainly feel that my job as a midwife
would be much easier with a calm, confident couple who
just gets on with the job as best they can and adapt
to any problems or changes along the way, regardless
of the outcome!

Best regards,
A .....

Wonderful day with a group of independent midwives

10 Oct 2007

Yesterday I met with a group of independent midwives and one doula in S. London. We met at a home of a personal friend who also works as a midwife.

My friend and I have had lots of ups and downs about The Pink Kit and how she can grow a skilled birthing population within her private practice. Lots of 'issues' have presented themselves over the years. These are the typical issues that Common Knowledge Trust experiences with women in this occupation.

However, we are still friends. Anyway, she was at a birth.

I actually told this group that their occupation has been challenging for the Trust to work with. There is a huge difference in philosophy between the profession of midwifery and The Pink Kit skills.

1. Many independent midwives believe that birth is natural and therefore women don't need skills while The Pink Kit Method For Birthing Better® is all about childbirth and coaching skills.
2. Independent midwives believe the cause of medical intervention in birth is due to an over eager medical profession whereas The Pink Kit just wants all expectant parents to have skills no matter what birth they have.

After 35 years of talking to people in this occupation, the concept of growing a skilled birthing population hasn't yet been looked at positively. Yet, of all the birth providers, independent midwives would benefit the most.

The day was brilliant. The women were receptive yet challenged. We were able to discuss different topics openly without confusion. So, thank you Anja and Annie for organizing this and providing a space.

My friend arrived at the end of the day from a Pink Kit birth. There's no doubt that she really does get how self empowering couples feel when they have taught themselves The Pink Kit skills.

Her colleagues needed to hear:

1. This won't happen fast. Quite a number of families need a lot of encouragement to do the work for themselves.
2. She had to want this to happen in her practice and be willing to permit the ups and downs that go with deep and abiding change.
3. That it's more than worth it!

I explained that Common Knowledge Trust stayed out of the politics because The Pink Kit is just a reflection of thousands of families who have had every single type of birth there is. We had to develop a system that included everyone.

We even talked about the subtle 'abuse' or 'bullying' that women perpetrate on each other.

'I had a natural birth and didn't read anything and YOU had a cesarean after reading everything.'

Or 'If SHE had had a home birth with me as her midwife, THAT won't have happened.'

There are so many subtle and not subtle messages given in birth but for us ... the voice and skills of all births ... we can't engage in that. We always ask the question .. 'What about...?'

If people talk about the positive elements of home birth then 'what about' women with medical issues who need medical care in hospital? Don't they deserve a great birth experience even wired up to every instrument? Of course, and these are the families who inspired me to continue to develop a system based solely on our shared human body that we could use in absolutely ALL births.

If you find yourself advocating one particular type of birth then 'what about' other families not having that type of birth?

The Pink Kit skills are for all of us, all births.

Because the day went so well, I also took them one step further and encouraged them to create sales fliers to hang up in town and sell or rent the Pink Kit Package to any expectant parent, not just their clients.

So, we'll have a contest. Create a really good sales flyer. If we choose yours then you'll receive a free Pink Kit Package and full set of Just For Series.

Let's work together to change the world for the positive. Is there any reason why we shouldn't or can't grow a skilled birthing population?

Responses to my comments about midwives and The Pink Kit

8 Oct 2007

About ten emails have come to me about my comments on the next to last blog entry of .....

One in particular came from a woman who used The Pink Kit when she gave birth and she also works as a midwife.

'Hi Wintergreen,

That most recent blog was really good. I think for
many midwives, it's all about seeing things from
another perspective. At the end of the day, what we
are taught back at the beginning is that it is our
role to educate and "help" women through labour.

Of course for a very experienced midwife who has
"helped" many a woman through a birth, she might feel
the PK is unnecessary. She feels that is part of HER
role, but that is not what it's about. Everybody feels
pain and contractions differently, therefore if a
woman knows how to internally relax, be aware of what
is happening inside, thereby take the fear out of
birth, she is helping herself, and the midwife.

This is it, only a woman will ever know, how to birth
her baby. For many, having the skills, may change how
they perceive the experience.

From experience, the PK can't be learned in 10 minutes
either. It take much practice, learning these skills.
How incredible to think that the pelvis, especially
your own, can be described and become familiar in
minutes...

I guess this is what you've been saying all along!

Cheers,
A ....'

Well said, indeed.

Today a newspaper in the UK (The Independent ran their cover story about 'The Birth Crisis'. Their issue was the high cost of insurance payments due to medical misadventure during birth.

All of the complex issues about 'safe' birth and who is responsible comes into play.

So, I'm about to give you an example of where The Pink Kit fits into this. Let's make up a not-too-uncommon 'bad outcome'. A woman pushed for an extended period of time. Her midwife and specialist felt she was making progress but at some point, a decision was made to do an episiotomy and bring the baby out with ventoose. The baby had severe problems and had a disability for Life.

So, part of the Pink Kit resource teaches you how to prepare your birth canal effectively so that your soft tissue opens in response to your baby's head.

Let's say there is a pregnant woman who goes to her midwife/doula/obstetrician. She might even ask whether there is anything she needs to do to prepare her birth canal. She might be told a range of things to do or told that it's not necessary. Since no one in this scenerio knows about the Internal Work of The Pink Kit Method For Birthing Better® then no one would suggest it.

Let's say the above birth situations occurred. Whose fault would it be? The woman's, midwife, doula, childbirth educator or obstetrician?

Now we'll take another scenerio. Let's say the midwife or doula knows about the Internal Work but believes it's not necessary, either because they believe in perineal massage or that Nature intended women to stretch so doesn't suggest the couple do it? And the same birth scenerio occurs. Who is to blame?

Third scenerio. The woman has The Pink Kit Package but doesn't think it's necessary to do the Internal Work because she doesn't like the idea of having to 'touch down there.' Once again, the same birth scenerio. Who is at fault?

Sure, we shouldn't have 'shame, blame and guilt' however, the insurance industry assigns 'fault' even in 'no-fault' ... there is a pay-out.

In reality, The Pink Kit Package gives all expectant parents the skills to prepare for birth and the skills to use during labour. Part of those skills evolved in response to wanting to reduce, eleminate or prevent many of the common birth complexities that could lead to problems, damage and death.

There were three bits of knowledge we also gained:

1. There were some health issues that we couldn't take care of and the skills helped us work positively with what we had. This left us feeling as though we had 'natural' births even embraced by lots of medical care.
2. It was by far easier to prepare for birth during a 16 week period of pregnancy than to do a complete Life Style change. This meant more of us would do self-learn the practical skills rather than change diet, stop smoking, reduce stress or even get more exercise.
3. At the end of the day, unless a woman is unconscious, she will take in another inhale and then exhale. It's using skills for each breath in and out that made the difference between feeling in control or out of control no matter what the birth situation.

Let's be real. Birth is hardly the most complex political issue there is right now although people who are passionate about this topic would feel differently. But, the extinction of species, climate change, pollution or even the SuperBug are bigger issues affecting a broader range of people.

With many of these bigger issues, we feel Powerless. However, with birth there is something we can do about it. Grow a skilled birthing population!

Each of us, as an expectant parent, can learn a universal set of skills that work in absolutely all births because they are based on what we share as human beings ... our body and other physical behaviors that we do.

We might not be able to prevent all problems or all bad outcomes from problems but we can reduce a great many of them ... certainly not one woman has to have a tight crotch. That's the number one reason assisted 2nd stages occur.