22 April, 2007
Continuing the conversation with Sonya who is a doula.
Wintergreen’s response on 18th Jan 2007
(Go back through our correspondence and notice that Sonya uses the word 'responsibility' quite a bit. This is one of the words thrown around in birth circles ... particularly directed toward us as families. 'Women need to take responsibility for their birth' OR 'Making Birth Plans is taking responsibility for birth'. Let's see what we learned about ourselves through The Pink Kit Method)
'We do NOT have a responsibility problem! We have an education problem. Ask yourself these questions. What did your mother teach you about how-to birth? What is being told to couples today in birth classes or birth books about how-to birth? Please email your responses to me then we can dialogue about those.
The PK is about changing both. Families who use the PK know they will teach their children (both girls and boys) how-to birth and birth coach. They absolutely know they will pass these skills on because these are human behaviour based skills that are task appropriate. This is recognized by everyone who invests time and energy to make them their own and clearly expressed in the birth story we have been investigating.
Childbirth preparation and education aligned with the philosophical trends in the 1980s that birth was not medical but natural, instinctive and all we needed to do was take the ‘responsibility’ to make choices. Doctors, hospital and medicine became the enemy and great value was placed on trusting midwives who had received a ‘calling’ and trusting our ability to birth. Since 100% of all pregnant women, we know we will give birth ... one way or another so it seemed appropriate that making 'choices' was the only gap. Therefore childbirth education became about taking 'responsibility' to gather information and make 'choices'.
This is absolutely right in some ways. People need to gather information so they can make informed choices and develop a Birth Plan about how they envision their birth experience. This is one form of taking responsibility. However, this is a two legged, unstable thing. By putting as much emphasis on learning childbirth skills makes for a strong three legged stool. We need to educate people as to the importance of self learning these birth skills. This is another form of taking ‘responsibility’ … developing skills for this important task!
Why should they be self-learned? First, there are too many skills to teach in a class series. Second, people don't take them on as well when it's taught them to them as when they are self learned. CKT produced the best teacher there is … The Pink Kit Package which can reach people all around the world. The Pink Kit Package is the best teacher because it is the compiled skills thousands of us have used in absolutely all birth ... much like the woman in the birth story we've just interpreted.
We know that self learning works in the long run … even though it appears harder at first to accomplish.
As The Pink Kit evolved, families in the 1970s used whatever we discovered little by little. Even if we had only one little skill, we used it throughout our birth and felt really positive about the experience. We took the 'responsibility' to work with our baby and in whatever situation we found ourselves.
With our skills we felt really good about our births. If the staff or doctor did this or that or required this or that be done, we worked with them and used our skills. They loved working with us yet never appreciated that we were skilled. They just believed we had good, easy or lucky births. This is true of doctors and midwives today because everyone knows that 100% of pregnant women will give birth and all birth providers do see 'unskilled' women cope well. With The Pink Kit skills many, many more women and men can have a skilled birth.
CKT knows that there are people (independent midwives and doulas) trying to ‘teach’ their clients the PK skills but they don’t the success. We hear from them all the time about the initial success and then a lack of interest because they can't consistently get results. But The Pink Kit skills are not about 'alternative' techniques to be used as a last resort.
The One Day Presentation only covers a small number of the skills ... giving sample experiences from several of the resources in The Pink Kit Package. This helps couples become familiar with a very new resource that is not yet well known in the general population. If The Pink Kit Package were in bookstores then people would already discussing this whole new system for childbirth.
This educational process for developing a skilled birthing population has not and is not easy. In reality it will be people like you who are trained as Pink Kit Presenters AND hang up the sales flyer around town who will reach the broadest range of expectant parents, but it will take time and patient explanation over and over and over again.
As I've mentioned before, anyone can become a wholesaler and hang up the sales flyer. There are many work-at-home-moms who want to run a small business and there are always pregnant women. And as you know we have an affiliate program for those people who have websites.
Growing a skilled birthing population is not a simple journey. We are changing a long, long societal problem... our mothers told us nothing, or little about childbirth and often said: 'It hurts you'll get through it'.
Childbirth educators, authors, midwives and doulas told us to just trust ourselves, don't have fear and we'll know exactly what to do on the day.
There are many grand illusions about birth. For example, I recently read a post someone sent me that said: 'midwifery led care is the best way to get great births'. In listening to thousands of birth stories over 35 years, women and men really don't give a damn who their birth provider is as long as they end up communicating with us well on the day (whatever that means). For example, there are many, many women who didn't like the midwife when it came to the birth. 'She got in my face' OR 'She didn't help me when I needed her' OR 'she didn't show up until I was really having trouble coping' OR 'she was rough'. And that could equally be said for staff or doctors
All those comments went by the side of the road when we took 'responsibility' for our skills into our births. All the above issues with our birth providers was true on the day but once we had our skills we focused on what we could do for ourselves and not on others. It was lovely if our care provider was nice but if we didn’t like what they did or said, it didn’t matter, we got on with using our skills.
The Pink Kit birth story is what you should expect to hear once families in your area become Pink Kit families. Gosh, we'd all feel better if we had more stories like this one.
Sadly that story won't be 'enough' for those people promoting midwifery care and natural birth as against medical or obstetrical birth but it is more than enough for that woman and her husband. As one Pink Kit mom said after her wonderful hospital birth is that a number of her friends told her she couldn't have a great birth because it wasn't at home. That made her feel invalidated. She also knew she had taken 'responsibility' to learn how-to birth compared to the Birth Plans for her first birth that led to a horrible experience.
We need to validate the life long wonderful memories of what we have accomplished for ourselves. This is the huge strength of The Pink Kit Method For Birthing Better®.
Sonya, please tell me about your personal experiences with birth.
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Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Doula Pink Kit Presenter dialogue #6
19 April 2007
On Jan 17 2007 I asked Sonya to interpret the birth story that I posted called Remembering what a Pink Kit birth story sounds like...
These are her insightful comments.
'WG,
The first birth in the birth centre was, not really owned. The mother obviously did a lot of research about birth and didn't get to the how bits. It was still really up to chance. She knew where the baby had to come out but didn't know how she could assist that. She knew she probably should relax but didn't know how to where it counts.
The second birth (a PK one) was much different, she owned it and knew the how to. It didn't matter if the midwives were short staffed, she could have birthed alone, because she knew how. She was responsible for it and she knew with confidence the way to do it.
I had a client just the other day who was a VBAC and used the PK. After a stop start of a few days(sometimes VBAC does it like that the body resets it's self to preserve the uterus and scar) She eventually had a six hour labour. She wasn't directed to push her baby out she did it when she was ready. The midwife said to the woman 'You did really well, you pushed you baby out in 50mins. If I had directed you it would have been sooner. But you did it yourself.
Now to me that was an ego statement on the behalf of the midwife. She said you did well but I could make you do better. This mum liked the PK skills but admitted to me in her postnatal visit that she hadn't done a great deal of the internal work and said that if she had of done more on that then she could have got her baby down and out much sooner herself.
So with the PK they choose to do as much or as little as they want. Those who fully embrace it and really practice for birth get it and are responsible for it. They take full responsibilty for it and they know what they didn't do enough of and what really worked for them.
Correct me if I'm wrong, isn't the PK about just that. The parents taking on that birth responsibilty?
I just finished a Doula intro with a couple who are considering our services, they were lovely people they are private and wanted to enlist support for the birth. They really liked the idea of the PK resource. I said to them it's for hire or they could purchase it. You know I wasn't trying to sell myself as a Doula, for the first time, I felt it really okay to direct them to the pk and the website. What a great starting point. If every potential client takes this resource with them then I am doing a great service. It really takes the charge of trying to be the most sought after doula and make them fall in love with the idea of me being their doula.
In Melbourne there are many Doulas, often the prospective clients interveiw one after the other, like royalty. They are competing against each other for the position. Sounds fair but a little unerving. They bring all their skills to the table, hypno-Doula/massage therapist/crystal therapist/ Reiki practioner/accupuncturist/musician/ high priestess ect. I try to leave my other stuff out of it and let them fill out a form that asks them what they would like information on, it seems to work better for us.
There is no scarcity where birth is concerned. If I can just show up and direct them to PK then if they take me or one of the girls on as a Doula that's a bonus. It seems more important now, not that they necessarily have a Doula but more that they use the PK.
I realised through my own births that I wasn't as aware and responsible as I would have liked. If I had my time over, I know that the PK would have made a huge difference. Even with my 4th and 5th. They were without drugs but I really could have assisted more with their deliveries (long drawn out 2nd stages) Great outcomes but......
So my dear friend and email buddy, you learn more and more about me and I you. This pk has taught me quite a lot already. Looking forward to learning about HOW TO present the PK . So that they get that they do it!'
Wintergreen's comments:
The Pink Kit Method For Birthing Better® provides a whole new language about childbirth. Instead of discussing what happened 'to' you by 'them', we talk about how we 'did' it. Now we can share a common language about birth based on our shared birth skills. That's exciting and changes the entire understanding about what a positive birth really is.
(We'll continue with this correspondence in the next blog entry. The term 'responsibility' will come up again and again. In the next correspondence I've had with Margaret who is a midwife, this comes up as well. Isn't it fascinating to discuss these issues and find a way through the quamire and finally have a positive way to approach childbirth for all of us?)
On Jan 17 2007 I asked Sonya to interpret the birth story that I posted called Remembering what a Pink Kit birth story sounds like...
These are her insightful comments.
'WG,
The first birth in the birth centre was, not really owned. The mother obviously did a lot of research about birth and didn't get to the how bits. It was still really up to chance. She knew where the baby had to come out but didn't know how she could assist that. She knew she probably should relax but didn't know how to where it counts.
The second birth (a PK one) was much different, she owned it and knew the how to. It didn't matter if the midwives were short staffed, she could have birthed alone, because she knew how. She was responsible for it and she knew with confidence the way to do it.
I had a client just the other day who was a VBAC and used the PK. After a stop start of a few days(sometimes VBAC does it like that the body resets it's self to preserve the uterus and scar) She eventually had a six hour labour. She wasn't directed to push her baby out she did it when she was ready. The midwife said to the woman 'You did really well, you pushed you baby out in 50mins. If I had directed you it would have been sooner. But you did it yourself.
Now to me that was an ego statement on the behalf of the midwife. She said you did well but I could make you do better. This mum liked the PK skills but admitted to me in her postnatal visit that she hadn't done a great deal of the internal work and said that if she had of done more on that then she could have got her baby down and out much sooner herself.
So with the PK they choose to do as much or as little as they want. Those who fully embrace it and really practice for birth get it and are responsible for it. They take full responsibilty for it and they know what they didn't do enough of and what really worked for them.
Correct me if I'm wrong, isn't the PK about just that. The parents taking on that birth responsibilty?
I just finished a Doula intro with a couple who are considering our services, they were lovely people they are private and wanted to enlist support for the birth. They really liked the idea of the PK resource. I said to them it's for hire or they could purchase it. You know I wasn't trying to sell myself as a Doula, for the first time, I felt it really okay to direct them to the pk and the website. What a great starting point. If every potential client takes this resource with them then I am doing a great service. It really takes the charge of trying to be the most sought after doula and make them fall in love with the idea of me being their doula.
In Melbourne there are many Doulas, often the prospective clients interveiw one after the other, like royalty. They are competing against each other for the position. Sounds fair but a little unerving. They bring all their skills to the table, hypno-Doula/massage therapist/crystal therapist/ Reiki practioner/accupuncturist/musician/ high priestess ect. I try to leave my other stuff out of it and let them fill out a form that asks them what they would like information on, it seems to work better for us.
There is no scarcity where birth is concerned. If I can just show up and direct them to PK then if they take me or one of the girls on as a Doula that's a bonus. It seems more important now, not that they necessarily have a Doula but more that they use the PK.
I realised through my own births that I wasn't as aware and responsible as I would have liked. If I had my time over, I know that the PK would have made a huge difference. Even with my 4th and 5th. They were without drugs but I really could have assisted more with their deliveries (long drawn out 2nd stages) Great outcomes but......
So my dear friend and email buddy, you learn more and more about me and I you. This pk has taught me quite a lot already. Looking forward to learning about HOW TO present the PK . So that they get that they do it!'
Wintergreen's comments:
The Pink Kit Method For Birthing Better® provides a whole new language about childbirth. Instead of discussing what happened 'to' you by 'them', we talk about how we 'did' it. Now we can share a common language about birth based on our shared birth skills. That's exciting and changes the entire understanding about what a positive birth really is.
(We'll continue with this correspondence in the next blog entry. The term 'responsibility' will come up again and again. In the next correspondence I've had with Margaret who is a midwife, this comes up as well. Isn't it fascinating to discuss these issues and find a way through the quamire and finally have a positive way to approach childbirth for all of us?)
Doula Pink Kit Presenter dialogue #5
15 April 2007
On 13/01/2007 the discussion with Sonya, who works as a doula continues
Wintergreen comments:
'Remember in an earlier blog we discussed the New Zealand ‘continuity of care’ model that independent midwives have taken on for themselves has caused a great deal of occupational burn-out and an increase in medically assisted births. Unlike in Holland where women Women are 'under strict instructions only to call the midwife when contractions are one minute long with a three or four minute interval, and have been present for two hours or more.' (Imagine all families having their own Pink Kit skills during the hours of labour before they can call!)
In New Zealand women are encouraged to call their midwife when they want them to be with them which means they call quite early in labour and a midwife is then required to remain with the woman. Fatigue often sets in just as the labour gets very intense.
So this has produced a more dependent consumer population. In New Zealand where one would have hoped that more 'natural' birth would blossom under the Midwifery Model of care, women and men are so clueless they call their midwife at the first sign of labour and expect the midwife to be their primary care birth coach. Think of how all these families would behave or conduct themselves differently if they had Pink Kit skills? Pink Kit families make the job of the midwife much more enjoyable and easier.
Since the development of The Pink Kit skills, one of it’s great benefits is for us (expectant parents) to feel very comfortable in coping with labour from the earliest part to the most intense.
When I gave birth in 1970 we were told to stay at home until our contractions were 5 minutes apart and 1 minute long. We expected to get a good ways into labour before we went to hospital.
But let’s continue with the growing of Pink Kit Presenters'.
Sonya continued with her comments:
'Unfortunately midwives burn out at homebirth or hospital because parents are not fully taking responsibility. Their homebirth midwife still does it for them, their hospital midwife still does it for them etc. The midwife gets a lot of satisfaction and self-gratification, she works hard and they get some great outcomes. But what of the not so great? There are a lot of grieving parents who have had midwives.
In my last birth I got this huge realization that I don't wish to assist parents who don't take on the PK skills as their own. It is so much more work and pressure when you have a client who hasn’t done their own work. I’m fascinated by how Andrea and Suzie encouraged their clients to make the ‘choice’ to teach themselves The Pink Kit skills. It would really would suit me fine to become a Pink Kit Presenter'.
On 13/01/2007 the discussion with Sonya, who works as a doula continues
Wintergreen comments:
'Remember in an earlier blog we discussed the New Zealand ‘continuity of care’ model that independent midwives have taken on for themselves has caused a great deal of occupational burn-out and an increase in medically assisted births. Unlike in Holland where women Women are 'under strict instructions only to call the midwife when contractions are one minute long with a three or four minute interval, and have been present for two hours or more.' (Imagine all families having their own Pink Kit skills during the hours of labour before they can call!)
In New Zealand women are encouraged to call their midwife when they want them to be with them which means they call quite early in labour and a midwife is then required to remain with the woman. Fatigue often sets in just as the labour gets very intense.
So this has produced a more dependent consumer population. In New Zealand where one would have hoped that more 'natural' birth would blossom under the Midwifery Model of care, women and men are so clueless they call their midwife at the first sign of labour and expect the midwife to be their primary care birth coach. Think of how all these families would behave or conduct themselves differently if they had Pink Kit skills? Pink Kit families make the job of the midwife much more enjoyable and easier.
Since the development of The Pink Kit skills, one of it’s great benefits is for us (expectant parents) to feel very comfortable in coping with labour from the earliest part to the most intense.
When I gave birth in 1970 we were told to stay at home until our contractions were 5 minutes apart and 1 minute long. We expected to get a good ways into labour before we went to hospital.
But let’s continue with the growing of Pink Kit Presenters'.
Sonya continued with her comments:
'Unfortunately midwives burn out at homebirth or hospital because parents are not fully taking responsibility. Their homebirth midwife still does it for them, their hospital midwife still does it for them etc. The midwife gets a lot of satisfaction and self-gratification, she works hard and they get some great outcomes. But what of the not so great? There are a lot of grieving parents who have had midwives.
In my last birth I got this huge realization that I don't wish to assist parents who don't take on the PK skills as their own. It is so much more work and pressure when you have a client who hasn’t done their own work. I’m fascinated by how Andrea and Suzie encouraged their clients to make the ‘choice’ to teach themselves The Pink Kit skills. It would really would suit me fine to become a Pink Kit Presenter'.
Remembering what a Pink Kit birth story sounds like
9 April 2007
In Jan 2007 we received this email from a woman who ordered a Pink Kit sometime previously. This occurred during the correspondence with Sonya and other women who work as doulas was continuing.
It's vitally important that everyone begin to learn this new Pink Kit birth language. This birthing woman discusses her birth in both the old language of birth and her second birth is in the Pink Kit language. Compare this to the doula’s story in the last blog entries. I didn't correct any of the spelling or grammar. Who cares?
What's important is that her first story was similar to Sarah's story in the last post but this woman perceives of everything differently once she and her husband have their Pink Kit skills. Don't we want more families to have experiences like this? Of course we do. That's why we need to get more Pink Kit distributors, website affiliates and even Pink Kit Presenters.
'Hi there, i just wanted to send a very belated, yet heartfelt thank you to you all.
I had a manageable 6 hour first stage, followed by a horrendous 6.5 hour second stage with my 1st child. I had been terrified my bowel would fall out if i pushed down 'that way', so was terrified when the midwife kept insisting i sit in a birthing chair and felt scared and frustrated when she refused to get a doctor to check if i was fully dialated as i could not tell her definately if a had ' the irrestistable urge to push' or not, i just knew i had to bear down. Mind you, i was in a 'family birth centre', with a locum midwife and no back up due to staff shortages in other areas of the hospital. The result; - moved to main hospital due to babies heart rate being erratic, offered a wheel chair to sit on despite visual of Graces head with each contraction! Given oxytocin 4 hours into 2nd stage labour, and finally a very pointy headed angry looking little girl was vacuumed out of me! (sorry still a bit bitter!) If only i had seen the pink kit before then!!!
My second daughter was born 7 months ago. 4 weeks before her birth, i was given the old video and pink kit from a midwife student. By studying the book and watching the video i realised many things i had done to hinder my 1st daughters exit from me and how by not relaxing i actually sent my labour backward. I vowed that this time would be different.
Even with the disappointment and fear of having to be induced, given oxytocin and linked to a heart monitor, i armed myself with the pink kit book to use as a reminder. I used the directed breathing during first stage and easily managed the contractions (by removing the fear and feeling a part of the journey, i could feel her move down with each contraction, and was not in pain - even enjoyed the process!) The midwife was incredibly supportive and relaxed. It was not until second stage (and max levels of oxytocin pumped into me) that the contractions began to hurt. My husband and i had practiced, him holding me and me relaxing by bowel and allowing the baby to pass. I had so many plans about controlling her exit. This was not possible, as soon as i stated to my husband that the baby was in my birth
canal and i had to to relax, i relaxed and she flew out! 2nd stage was less than 6 minutes. Next time i hope to avoid the inducing and drip
and be able to breath my next child out, with out ripping. Lets hope.
I informed everyone of my relativelt pain free fast labour thanks to The pink kit and have loaned my copy of the pink kit to a couple of friends. The midwife student has ensured her uni has 3 curent dvd copies of the pink kit to help women, and the hospital family birth unit staff, planned to hunt down a copy to have available for their patients. I don't understand why the directed breathing, relaxation and other information in the book is not told to every expectant mother. Its not just interesting, its imperitive, indespensible!!
Thank you again!
In Jan 2007 we received this email from a woman who ordered a Pink Kit sometime previously. This occurred during the correspondence with Sonya and other women who work as doulas was continuing.
It's vitally important that everyone begin to learn this new Pink Kit birth language. This birthing woman discusses her birth in both the old language of birth and her second birth is in the Pink Kit language. Compare this to the doula’s story in the last blog entries. I didn't correct any of the spelling or grammar. Who cares?
What's important is that her first story was similar to Sarah's story in the last post but this woman perceives of everything differently once she and her husband have their Pink Kit skills. Don't we want more families to have experiences like this? Of course we do. That's why we need to get more Pink Kit distributors, website affiliates and even Pink Kit Presenters.
'Hi there, i just wanted to send a very belated, yet heartfelt thank you to you all.
I had a manageable 6 hour first stage, followed by a horrendous 6.5 hour second stage with my 1st child. I had been terrified my bowel would fall out if i pushed down 'that way', so was terrified when the midwife kept insisting i sit in a birthing chair and felt scared and frustrated when she refused to get a doctor to check if i was fully dialated as i could not tell her definately if a had ' the irrestistable urge to push' or not, i just knew i had to bear down. Mind you, i was in a 'family birth centre', with a locum midwife and no back up due to staff shortages in other areas of the hospital. The result; - moved to main hospital due to babies heart rate being erratic, offered a wheel chair to sit on despite visual of Graces head with each contraction! Given oxytocin 4 hours into 2nd stage labour, and finally a very pointy headed angry looking little girl was vacuumed out of me! (sorry still a bit bitter!) If only i had seen the pink kit before then!!!
My second daughter was born 7 months ago. 4 weeks before her birth, i was given the old video and pink kit from a midwife student. By studying the book and watching the video i realised many things i had done to hinder my 1st daughters exit from me and how by not relaxing i actually sent my labour backward. I vowed that this time would be different.
Even with the disappointment and fear of having to be induced, given oxytocin and linked to a heart monitor, i armed myself with the pink kit book to use as a reminder. I used the directed breathing during first stage and easily managed the contractions (by removing the fear and feeling a part of the journey, i could feel her move down with each contraction, and was not in pain - even enjoyed the process!) The midwife was incredibly supportive and relaxed. It was not until second stage (and max levels of oxytocin pumped into me) that the contractions began to hurt. My husband and i had practiced, him holding me and me relaxing by bowel and allowing the baby to pass. I had so many plans about controlling her exit. This was not possible, as soon as i stated to my husband that the baby was in my birth
canal and i had to to relax, i relaxed and she flew out! 2nd stage was less than 6 minutes. Next time i hope to avoid the inducing and drip
and be able to breath my next child out, with out ripping. Lets hope.
I informed everyone of my relativelt pain free fast labour thanks to The pink kit and have loaned my copy of the pink kit to a couple of friends. The midwife student has ensured her uni has 3 curent dvd copies of the pink kit to help women, and the hospital family birth unit staff, planned to hunt down a copy to have available for their patients. I don't understand why the directed breathing, relaxation and other information in the book is not told to every expectant mother. Its not just interesting, its imperitive, indespensible!!
Thank you again!
Doula Pink Kit Presenter dialogue #4
4 April 2007
On Oct 3, 2006 another doula wrote:
Wintergreen's comments:
What is interesting about the below email it is so characteristic about women who work as birth professionals. The Pink Kit skills have always been and will only look at birth from what we can do for ourselves as birthing families. There were so many ‘other’ issues we have absolutely no control over. Once we realize we only have control over our own set of skills, issues like the ones expressed below just stop happening.
When CKT teaches the 5 day Pink Kit Presenter Training, we spend quite a bit of time discussing the issues below as well as learning and going over the very specific One Day Pink Kit Presentation. Once people 'get it', everyone settles down nicely.
Common Knowledge Trust receives a large volume of emails discussing these very issues. The politics of childbirth is alive and active. But, as a trustee to Common Knowledge Trust, I am not involved in the politics of birth. My job is to promote the concept of growing a skilled birthing population.
Having a blog makes it much easier for me to address many of these emails ... sometimes one or two paragraphs at a time. You'll hear me use words like 'we' or 'us' when talking about The Pink Kit skills because as a trustee, I carry the thousands of Pink Kit stories.
From Sarah:
'I've listened to the 3 interviews from Andrea and Suzie and feel very inspired to get into promoting the PK.
I attended my first birth as a doula last week which was amazing and wonderful. I was really disappointed, however, in the clinical nature of the hospital and midwife. I'd forgotten how very impersonal it all is, and the lack of warmth from the midwife- very much an obstetric nurse- who was obviously not into the concept of a doula'.
Wintergreen responded to Sarah:
'Women who work as doulas really want to help families during birth yet often find themselves having very personal opinions about what happens at another family's birth. Remember The PK only looks at birth from us as women and men who are actually giving birth and not from the view point of either the midwife who attended this birth or the doula who was offended by her behavior.
When a Pink Kit family is using their skills, they rarely focus on what others are doing to them or around them.
Common Knowledge Trust is contacted all the time by women who work as midwives or doulas who tell birth stories from their viewpoint, express lots of disappointment with births and feel burned out by the birth environment.
In 1970 when the skills that are now known as The Pink Kit Method For Birthing Better® evolved we immediately recognized a huge benefit. WE STOPPED MUCH OF THE BLAME about what others were doing and we got on with our labour. We focused on what we could do for ourselves and how we could manage and cope with labour pain.
Looking at this story, what does it matter if the midwife's behavior was clinical? That only matters if the 'ambience' of birth is more important than how the woman and her partner work through the process of labour one contraction after another. When we own our Pink Kit skills, then we ignore those very small, insignificant issues.
Remember that doulas started as another layer of helpers for women. Their profession saw themselves as filling in a perceived gap between doctors, or midwives or fathers and the woman. However, the more layers heaped on us as women and men, the less in control we are about something that is happening to us.
The perceived gap to fill was for families to have one person who worked with them in pregnancy and then remained with them throughout labour. This concept of 'continuity of care' was promoted by women who work as midwives and as doulas.
If a birthing woman doesn’t have a good set of birth skills and her husband (or other) doesn’t have a great set of birth skills then they do need someone to help because they don't have sufficient skills. When families have skills they may choose to have a doula or midwife who will sit with them, but it’s not an essential because they manage birth contractions themselves where ever they birth or with whom.
New Zealand midwives who have set achieved the pinnacle of professional success as Lead Maternity Carers have set themselves up as 'continuity of care' midwives and are burning out at a rapid rate. The life expectancy of an independent midwife in practice is 5-7 years carrying 25-80 births/year. Not only that but cesareans are performed in half the time than they were prior to 'continuity of care'. Women are calling their midwives earlier in labour (the clock starts ticking) and 'failure to progress' happens sooner because it's exhausting to be with a labouring woman for more than 10-15 hours. In fact, when midwives became LMC the c/s rate was 12.9% and is now close to 30%.'
Sarah went on to say:
'I'd done a fair bit of work and education with the couple in the lead-up to their birth, much of which went out the window as she TOLD them to do this and that, without asking how they felt about much at all.
It actually made me angry that she had no regard for the couple's birth plan and obviously was running totally on her agenda. Not to mention the frustration she showed when I had the nerve to ask for more towels...and to have the heat pack re-heated.....well!!! I felt totally disillusioned after this experience and don't see myself working much within the private hospital system if I can help it'.
Wintergreen's response to Sarah:
'What we wanted as women and men is to have a positive birth memory coming from a positive birth experience. That can be achieved in absolutely every single birth situation when families take their Pink Kit skills with them. Your issues reflect your passion and personal opinion about birth and is focusing on birth plans rather than birth skills.
We have to stop fighting the system, stop fighting the individuals and stop fighting our disappointment that 'they' didn't provide us with the birth we wanted. This has been our greatest discovery. Once we had our skills we got on with our labour and worked with and around all the dynamics of our situation at the time.
For example ..We might have planned a hospital birth and snow storms prevented us from leaving home and found ourselves having an unintended home birth alone. We might have a health issue that requires medical care and still want and deserve a positive birth even if we have to lie on our back. Our doula might be sick that day and we just have each other. Whatever happens does not effective our birth skills! If we have them.
Our job as Common Knowledge Trust is to instil these birth skills into all births so that families focus more on working through labour rather than being reactive to everything around them. This has been and will always be our WIN.
Childbirth has become full of shame, blame and guilt and this has to stop. In time once people use their PK skills these heavy, negative emotions are replaced by 'we did it'! One hundred percent of Pink Kit births are successful. This doesn't mean Pink Kit births are perfect or natural or enjoyable.
There are no perfect births. There are so many things that we or others can do to make birth imperfect however, PK moms and dads don't focus on those things. They focus on their skills and how to apply them and often that isn't perfect either! We have years to discuss what we might have done better.
Often Pink Kit stories are told about how we should have done more internal work or other things we 'could have done better' however most of the stories are about how we used our skills for each inhale and each exhale. We filled the time of our childbirth with our skills. We worked with our baby's efforts to be born and we worked through the process by the choices in how we conducted or behaved ourselves.'
On Oct 3, 2006 another doula wrote:
Wintergreen's comments:
What is interesting about the below email it is so characteristic about women who work as birth professionals. The Pink Kit skills have always been and will only look at birth from what we can do for ourselves as birthing families. There were so many ‘other’ issues we have absolutely no control over. Once we realize we only have control over our own set of skills, issues like the ones expressed below just stop happening.
When CKT teaches the 5 day Pink Kit Presenter Training, we spend quite a bit of time discussing the issues below as well as learning and going over the very specific One Day Pink Kit Presentation. Once people 'get it', everyone settles down nicely.
Common Knowledge Trust receives a large volume of emails discussing these very issues. The politics of childbirth is alive and active. But, as a trustee to Common Knowledge Trust, I am not involved in the politics of birth. My job is to promote the concept of growing a skilled birthing population.
Having a blog makes it much easier for me to address many of these emails ... sometimes one or two paragraphs at a time. You'll hear me use words like 'we' or 'us' when talking about The Pink Kit skills because as a trustee, I carry the thousands of Pink Kit stories.
From Sarah:
'I've listened to the 3 interviews from Andrea and Suzie and feel very inspired to get into promoting the PK.
I attended my first birth as a doula last week which was amazing and wonderful. I was really disappointed, however, in the clinical nature of the hospital and midwife. I'd forgotten how very impersonal it all is, and the lack of warmth from the midwife- very much an obstetric nurse- who was obviously not into the concept of a doula'.
Wintergreen responded to Sarah:
'Women who work as doulas really want to help families during birth yet often find themselves having very personal opinions about what happens at another family's birth. Remember The PK only looks at birth from us as women and men who are actually giving birth and not from the view point of either the midwife who attended this birth or the doula who was offended by her behavior.
When a Pink Kit family is using their skills, they rarely focus on what others are doing to them or around them.
Common Knowledge Trust is contacted all the time by women who work as midwives or doulas who tell birth stories from their viewpoint, express lots of disappointment with births and feel burned out by the birth environment.
In 1970 when the skills that are now known as The Pink Kit Method For Birthing Better® evolved we immediately recognized a huge benefit. WE STOPPED MUCH OF THE BLAME about what others were doing and we got on with our labour. We focused on what we could do for ourselves and how we could manage and cope with labour pain.
Looking at this story, what does it matter if the midwife's behavior was clinical? That only matters if the 'ambience' of birth is more important than how the woman and her partner work through the process of labour one contraction after another. When we own our Pink Kit skills, then we ignore those very small, insignificant issues.
Remember that doulas started as another layer of helpers for women. Their profession saw themselves as filling in a perceived gap between doctors, or midwives or fathers and the woman. However, the more layers heaped on us as women and men, the less in control we are about something that is happening to us.
The perceived gap to fill was for families to have one person who worked with them in pregnancy and then remained with them throughout labour. This concept of 'continuity of care' was promoted by women who work as midwives and as doulas.
If a birthing woman doesn’t have a good set of birth skills and her husband (or other) doesn’t have a great set of birth skills then they do need someone to help because they don't have sufficient skills. When families have skills they may choose to have a doula or midwife who will sit with them, but it’s not an essential because they manage birth contractions themselves where ever they birth or with whom.
New Zealand midwives who have set achieved the pinnacle of professional success as Lead Maternity Carers have set themselves up as 'continuity of care' midwives and are burning out at a rapid rate. The life expectancy of an independent midwife in practice is 5-7 years carrying 25-80 births/year. Not only that but cesareans are performed in half the time than they were prior to 'continuity of care'. Women are calling their midwives earlier in labour (the clock starts ticking) and 'failure to progress' happens sooner because it's exhausting to be with a labouring woman for more than 10-15 hours. In fact, when midwives became LMC the c/s rate was 12.9% and is now close to 30%.'
Sarah went on to say:
'I'd done a fair bit of work and education with the couple in the lead-up to their birth, much of which went out the window as she TOLD them to do this and that, without asking how they felt about much at all.
It actually made me angry that she had no regard for the couple's birth plan and obviously was running totally on her agenda. Not to mention the frustration she showed when I had the nerve to ask for more towels...and to have the heat pack re-heated.....well!!! I felt totally disillusioned after this experience and don't see myself working much within the private hospital system if I can help it'.
Wintergreen's response to Sarah:
'What we wanted as women and men is to have a positive birth memory coming from a positive birth experience. That can be achieved in absolutely every single birth situation when families take their Pink Kit skills with them. Your issues reflect your passion and personal opinion about birth and is focusing on birth plans rather than birth skills.
We have to stop fighting the system, stop fighting the individuals and stop fighting our disappointment that 'they' didn't provide us with the birth we wanted. This has been our greatest discovery. Once we had our skills we got on with our labour and worked with and around all the dynamics of our situation at the time.
For example ..We might have planned a hospital birth and snow storms prevented us from leaving home and found ourselves having an unintended home birth alone. We might have a health issue that requires medical care and still want and deserve a positive birth even if we have to lie on our back. Our doula might be sick that day and we just have each other. Whatever happens does not effective our birth skills! If we have them.
Our job as Common Knowledge Trust is to instil these birth skills into all births so that families focus more on working through labour rather than being reactive to everything around them. This has been and will always be our WIN.
Childbirth has become full of shame, blame and guilt and this has to stop. In time once people use their PK skills these heavy, negative emotions are replaced by 'we did it'! One hundred percent of Pink Kit births are successful. This doesn't mean Pink Kit births are perfect or natural or enjoyable.
There are no perfect births. There are so many things that we or others can do to make birth imperfect however, PK moms and dads don't focus on those things. They focus on their skills and how to apply them and often that isn't perfect either! We have years to discuss what we might have done better.
Often Pink Kit stories are told about how we should have done more internal work or other things we 'could have done better' however most of the stories are about how we used our skills for each inhale and each exhale. We filled the time of our childbirth with our skills. We worked with our baby's efforts to be born and we worked through the process by the choices in how we conducted or behaved ourselves.'
Doula Pink Kit Presenter dialogue #3
1 April 2007
On 25 Sept 2006
Sonya wrote:
'The Pink Kit Package is such a wonderful tool all expectant parents should have it for themselves. . We promote the idea that you can have an even better understanding of your birthing body thru the pk regardless of outcomes'.
Wintergreen:
'At some point Common Knowledge Trust will also develop a PowerPoint presentation that can be given in 1 1/2 hours that focuses on the benefits and features of The Pink Kit Method resources. This is another marketing approach for work-at-home-moms who love birth.
The One Day Pink Kit Presentation gives families sample experiences from a some of the resources in The Pink Kit Package that they take home with them. And it also gives women like yourself who want to 'do something' to share in the excitement of the One Day Presentation. Although you are a presenter and not a teacher or trainer, couples still enjoy going through the sample experiences.
The Pink Kit Package is not sold in bookstores. But even if it were, how many people get to go through parts of the book right then and there? The One Day Pink Kit Presentation gives people tastes of the skills and the approach of The Pink Kit Method.
Even if The Pink Kit Package (DVD, 2 audio CD and 3 digital books!) were sold in bookstores, it would probably be displayed in the DVD section. Do you think expectant parents will look in the DVD section for pregnancy or childbirth preparation information? Not likely so Pink Kit presentations roll on.
Let's get going on the Pink Kit Presenter training. You are on the cutting edge for a long lasting positive change in childbirth trends'.
On 25 Sept 2006
Sonya wrote:
'The Pink Kit Package is such a wonderful tool all expectant parents should have it for themselves. . We promote the idea that you can have an even better understanding of your birthing body thru the pk regardless of outcomes'.
Wintergreen:
'At some point Common Knowledge Trust will also develop a PowerPoint presentation that can be given in 1 1/2 hours that focuses on the benefits and features of The Pink Kit Method resources. This is another marketing approach for work-at-home-moms who love birth.
The One Day Pink Kit Presentation gives families sample experiences from a some of the resources in The Pink Kit Package that they take home with them. And it also gives women like yourself who want to 'do something' to share in the excitement of the One Day Presentation. Although you are a presenter and not a teacher or trainer, couples still enjoy going through the sample experiences.
The Pink Kit Package is not sold in bookstores. But even if it were, how many people get to go through parts of the book right then and there? The One Day Pink Kit Presentation gives people tastes of the skills and the approach of The Pink Kit Method.
Even if The Pink Kit Package (DVD, 2 audio CD and 3 digital books!) were sold in bookstores, it would probably be displayed in the DVD section. Do you think expectant parents will look in the DVD section for pregnancy or childbirth preparation information? Not likely so Pink Kit presentations roll on.
Let's get going on the Pink Kit Presenter training. You are on the cutting edge for a long lasting positive change in childbirth trends'.
Doula Pink Kit Presenter dialogue #2
24 Sept 2006
Sonya writes:
'Until our initial first contact with you via C. we used the Pink Kit in our private ante-natals. While it appeared to have some success it occurred to me that the parents were not taking the skills on fully. It was just another piece of information. So I was not surprised when you said that The Pink Kit must be it's own stand-alone presentation'.
Wintergreen replies:
'We need to consciously grow a skilled population rather than have individual practitioners trying to do the teaching and this will take time. What's a positive birth worth for most families? Every couple can bring their own skills into their own birth situation where as it's very difficult to try to get every birth provider passing on these skills then encouraging couples to use them. When individual providers think only of their own practice, symbolically they are not thinking about our larger culture.
And you're so right, you will never get enough of the skills to your clients because you never know which of the skills women will latch on to in labour. As women and men, we just need to develop childbirth skills as the most natural thing to do and be able to use the ones that work on the big day.
Common Knowledge Trust is facing the first hurdle of explaining the goals of The Pink Kit Presentations so we can take time to make certain you know what you'll be doing. The training as you will have read is for 5 days. During that time you will be learning a very specific presentation and learning how-to wear a PK hat as a 'presenter' rather than instructor or teacher etc.
As you’ll read, becoming a Pink Kit Presenter is open to everyone. They don’t need any experience or even be involved with birth. They might see offering Pink Kit Presentations as a side income.
As women who work as doulas, you’ll be able to reach out to your general community and offer the One Day Pink Kit Presentation helping to bridge the huge gap that has caused families to feel they must lodge in either the 'natural birth' or 'medical birth' camp. Now everyone can see birth is birth and all births are enriched by Pink Kit skills.
It will take you into a whole different arena that has a much more inspirational impact on a broader range of expectant parents without taking on more personal responsibility and less possibility of personal burn-out'.
******
For anyone interested, you can join our affiliate program and become a distributor
Sonya writes:
'Until our initial first contact with you via C. we used the Pink Kit in our private ante-natals. While it appeared to have some success it occurred to me that the parents were not taking the skills on fully. It was just another piece of information. So I was not surprised when you said that The Pink Kit must be it's own stand-alone presentation'.
Wintergreen replies:
'We need to consciously grow a skilled population rather than have individual practitioners trying to do the teaching and this will take time. What's a positive birth worth for most families? Every couple can bring their own skills into their own birth situation where as it's very difficult to try to get every birth provider passing on these skills then encouraging couples to use them. When individual providers think only of their own practice, symbolically they are not thinking about our larger culture.
And you're so right, you will never get enough of the skills to your clients because you never know which of the skills women will latch on to in labour. As women and men, we just need to develop childbirth skills as the most natural thing to do and be able to use the ones that work on the big day.
Common Knowledge Trust is facing the first hurdle of explaining the goals of The Pink Kit Presentations so we can take time to make certain you know what you'll be doing. The training as you will have read is for 5 days. During that time you will be learning a very specific presentation and learning how-to wear a PK hat as a 'presenter' rather than instructor or teacher etc.
As you’ll read, becoming a Pink Kit Presenter is open to everyone. They don’t need any experience or even be involved with birth. They might see offering Pink Kit Presentations as a side income.
As women who work as doulas, you’ll be able to reach out to your general community and offer the One Day Pink Kit Presentation helping to bridge the huge gap that has caused families to feel they must lodge in either the 'natural birth' or 'medical birth' camp. Now everyone can see birth is birth and all births are enriched by Pink Kit skills.
It will take you into a whole different arena that has a much more inspirational impact on a broader range of expectant parents without taking on more personal responsibility and less possibility of personal burn-out'.
******
For anyone interested, you can join our affiliate program and become a distributor
Doulas and becoming a Pink Kit Presenter #1
28 March 2007
What I've done for this series of correspondences is to keep the dates on them. Childbirth is chockablock of 'issues'.
It takes time to sort things out and often the issues don't show up until the correspondence gets more regular. The below correspondence is not the first one so when I respond, I am including some of the earlier comments. But if you follow the correspondence over time you'll see how many issues you might have about childbirth are addressed.
23 Sept 2006
Hello Wintergreen,
Thank-you for your response. You have a wonderful passion for this work and it is one that I share as does my new business partner J. In our doula business recognize the importance of true informed choice and personal empowerment thru birthing body awareness. We would love nothing more than to do whatever it takes to get this Pink Kit information to as many couples as we can.
Sonya
Wintrgreeen responds: 24 Sept 2006
Hello Sonya
'It seems to being taking quite a bit of time for everyone to understand what The Pink Kit Method For Birthing Better® is really about. There tends to be a general belief that every thing there is to know about birth is already out there along with some other firmly held, but not necessarily accurate beliefs.
Becoming a Pink Kit Presenter will give you and the expectant parents in your local area a whole new and exciting understanding of childbirth skills … .and why they should be self learned.
Let’s think together what the message pregnant women are given at the present time:
CKT would like this message to go out instead:
'We need to grow a socially accepted expectation that all expectant parents need good birth and good birth coaching skills. Pink Kit skills have worked in all births but there is no message given to most families that birth requires good skills.
The message is clear ... either there is nothing you need to do (natural birth) or there is nothing you can do (medical birth). In fact, we use our skills through each contraction and often with each inhale and exhale!
You've expressed interest in becoming a Pink Kit Presenter and I've attached the 5 day training format. There are 58,000 births/year in Melbourne alone. By becoming a Pink Kit Presenter you can inspire huge numbers of expectant parents to use The Pink Kit Package, teach themselves these skills and use them in labour.
Too bad The Pink Kit Package isn't yet in bookstores but you'll enjoy offering The One Day Pink Kit Presentation in your area. In time expectant parents will come to appreciate these skills are about all birth. Afterall birth is birth and doesn't have to be a political battleground'.
What I've done for this series of correspondences is to keep the dates on them. Childbirth is chockablock of 'issues'.
It takes time to sort things out and often the issues don't show up until the correspondence gets more regular. The below correspondence is not the first one so when I respond, I am including some of the earlier comments. But if you follow the correspondence over time you'll see how many issues you might have about childbirth are addressed.
23 Sept 2006
Hello Wintergreen,
Thank-you for your response. You have a wonderful passion for this work and it is one that I share as does my new business partner J. In our doula business recognize the importance of true informed choice and personal empowerment thru birthing body awareness. We would love nothing more than to do whatever it takes to get this Pink Kit information to as many couples as we can.
Sonya
Wintrgreeen responds: 24 Sept 2006
Hello Sonya
'It seems to being taking quite a bit of time for everyone to understand what The Pink Kit Method For Birthing Better® is really about. There tends to be a general belief that every thing there is to know about birth is already out there along with some other firmly held, but not necessarily accurate beliefs.
Becoming a Pink Kit Presenter will give you and the expectant parents in your local area a whole new and exciting understanding of childbirth skills … .and why they should be self learned.
Let’s think together what the message pregnant women are given at the present time:
- If women are seeking a natural birth they are often given this message:
- Expectant fathers are often given this message:
- If women are birthing in hospital they are given this message:
CKT would like this message to go out instead:
'We need to grow a socially accepted expectation that all expectant parents need good birth and good birth coaching skills. Pink Kit skills have worked in all births but there is no message given to most families that birth requires good skills.
The message is clear ... either there is nothing you need to do (natural birth) or there is nothing you can do (medical birth). In fact, we use our skills through each contraction and often with each inhale and exhale!
You've expressed interest in becoming a Pink Kit Presenter and I've attached the 5 day training format. There are 58,000 births/year in Melbourne alone. By becoming a Pink Kit Presenter you can inspire huge numbers of expectant parents to use The Pink Kit Package, teach themselves these skills and use them in labour.
Too bad The Pink Kit Package isn't yet in bookstores but you'll enjoy offering The One Day Pink Kit Presentation in your area. In time expectant parents will come to appreciate these skills are about all birth. Afterall birth is birth and doesn't have to be a political battleground'.
Beginning a Pink Kit dialogue with a woman who works as a doula
27 March 2007
I love blogs! Where else can small charitable organizations have their goals and objectives explained to a vast public? And where else can the steps the trustees take to actualize those goals be fully discussed? Only the internet and now this wonderful tool ... blogging.
Over many months a woman named, Sonya, and I have had a thorough correspondence via our wonderful emailing capacity! By using our dialogue others will understand more about The Pink Kit Method For Birthing Better® from the viewpoint of this group of birth professionals.
Becoming a Pink Kit Presenter doesn’t require any previous experience with childbirth at all. A person could just want to have a small business. There is a huge difference between marketing a concept and teaching information.
Since The Pink Kit Package is not available in bookstores (because it’s a multimedia product and who looks in the DVD section for childbirth preparation resources?), Common Knowledge Trust is always looking for outlets for The Pink Kit Package.
We offer affiliate programs for those people who have websites. People can hang up the sales flyer throughout their town and sell directly to expectant parents. And there are a few people who want to offer expectant parents a taste of these amazing skills-based resources. Most of those people are women who have used The Pink Kit for their own births or women who work as doulas or independent midwives.
The first group of Pink Kit moms and dads is great because they totally know they are just inspiring other expectant families to do what they did … learn and use their own set of birth skills. These moms know how much their husbands, partners, friends or relatives loved learning and using the skills as well. They offer The Pink Kit Presentations and just enthuse other families to do what they did … become skilled.
Women who work as doulas or independent midwives have an entirely different agenda and one that is often in conflict with what actually works! Most of these women have a real passion to help other women have beautiful, natural or good births. And this passion is where what they want and what The PK is about runs into a curious misalignment. The Pink Kit skills are for ALL births and have nothing to do with trying to produce any type of outcome.
Our 35 year history shows clearly that The Pink Kit skills work well when and only when we learn them for ourselves as expectant parents and use them in our own birth. The women who work as doulas and independent midwives actually want to use these skills either do them on women or be their teacher. Consistently women in these two groups are looking to be better practitioners or providers of their 'natural birth' services.
It seems very difficult for them to understand why this doesn’t work. The correspondence with Sonya (doula) and I had covered many of these issues. Wihtout a blog, I've been trying to explain all of this one on one which is incredibly time consuming and doesn't reach out far enough.
Afterward we work through the correspondence with a woman who works as a doula, I will post the correspondences with Margaret (midwife) addressing some of the other issues that come up when Common Knowledge Trust talks with women who work as midwives.
There are two bottom lines about birth that CKT upholds on behalf of all the families who are the essence of The Pink Kit and have been from the earliest development.
1. We know that childbirth is called labour because it’s hard work. We must work hard for this BIG event, but that doesn’t mean we should suffer. Even if we have a c/s delivery, we can actively apply our breathing and relaxation skills for no other reason then having a willingness to be actively involved with such an important event as the birth of our child.
2. We are not ‘children’ when we are pregnant. Yes, we are surrounded by birth professionals who are trained to help make our birth safe or good, but we are adults who hold jobs, have skills in many aspects of our life and will be parents. Childbirth must be seen of as an event where we use good skills in order to work with the efforts of our baby to be born. We must do the ‘work’ during childbirth so the work of being a parent isn’t so overwhelming.
This is what we discovered:
But then anyone can wholesale the resources. Download the sales flyer right now. It's a perfect work-at-home-mom part time money maker! So let's get on with the correspondence.
I love blogs! Where else can small charitable organizations have their goals and objectives explained to a vast public? And where else can the steps the trustees take to actualize those goals be fully discussed? Only the internet and now this wonderful tool ... blogging.
Over many months a woman named, Sonya, and I have had a thorough correspondence via our wonderful emailing capacity! By using our dialogue others will understand more about The Pink Kit Method For Birthing Better® from the viewpoint of this group of birth professionals.
Becoming a Pink Kit Presenter doesn’t require any previous experience with childbirth at all. A person could just want to have a small business. There is a huge difference between marketing a concept and teaching information.
Since The Pink Kit Package is not available in bookstores (because it’s a multimedia product and who looks in the DVD section for childbirth preparation resources?), Common Knowledge Trust is always looking for outlets for The Pink Kit Package.
We offer affiliate programs for those people who have websites. People can hang up the sales flyer throughout their town and sell directly to expectant parents. And there are a few people who want to offer expectant parents a taste of these amazing skills-based resources. Most of those people are women who have used The Pink Kit for their own births or women who work as doulas or independent midwives.
The first group of Pink Kit moms and dads is great because they totally know they are just inspiring other expectant families to do what they did … learn and use their own set of birth skills. These moms know how much their husbands, partners, friends or relatives loved learning and using the skills as well. They offer The Pink Kit Presentations and just enthuse other families to do what they did … become skilled.
Women who work as doulas or independent midwives have an entirely different agenda and one that is often in conflict with what actually works! Most of these women have a real passion to help other women have beautiful, natural or good births. And this passion is where what they want and what The PK is about runs into a curious misalignment. The Pink Kit skills are for ALL births and have nothing to do with trying to produce any type of outcome.
Our 35 year history shows clearly that The Pink Kit skills work well when and only when we learn them for ourselves as expectant parents and use them in our own birth. The women who work as doulas and independent midwives actually want to use these skills either do them on women or be their teacher. Consistently women in these two groups are looking to be better practitioners or providers of their 'natural birth' services.
It seems very difficult for them to understand why this doesn’t work. The correspondence with Sonya (doula) and I had covered many of these issues. Wihtout a blog, I've been trying to explain all of this one on one which is incredibly time consuming and doesn't reach out far enough.
Afterward we work through the correspondence with a woman who works as a doula, I will post the correspondences with Margaret (midwife) addressing some of the other issues that come up when Common Knowledge Trust talks with women who work as midwives.
There are two bottom lines about birth that CKT upholds on behalf of all the families who are the essence of The Pink Kit and have been from the earliest development.
1. We know that childbirth is called labour because it’s hard work. We must work hard for this BIG event, but that doesn’t mean we should suffer. Even if we have a c/s delivery, we can actively apply our breathing and relaxation skills for no other reason then having a willingness to be actively involved with such an important event as the birth of our child.
2. We are not ‘children’ when we are pregnant. Yes, we are surrounded by birth professionals who are trained to help make our birth safe or good, but we are adults who hold jobs, have skills in many aspects of our life and will be parents. Childbirth must be seen of as an event where we use good skills in order to work with the efforts of our baby to be born. We must do the ‘work’ during childbirth so the work of being a parent isn’t so overwhelming.
This is what we discovered:
- Our birth providers absolutely love when we cope with the work of labour well and when our partner can help us do that. Never has any birth provider in any institution in any birth for any reason in 35 years discouraged us from using our Pink Kit skills. In fact, 99.9% of them have no idea we are using learned skills.
- None of our Pink Kit skills interfer with the medical care.
- We always feel better about our birth experience because we used our Pink Kit skills.
But then anyone can wholesale the resources. Download the sales flyer right now. It's a perfect work-at-home-mom part time money maker! So let's get on with the correspondence.
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