6 Feb 2007
A
Read Annette's Pink Kit story on the blog 30/1/07. Over the next few days I'm going to give you my response, as a trustee to Common Knowledge Trust.
Hi Annette:
Your story is SUCH a typical Pink Kit birth story. It's full of awareness, consciousness and ability to self-reflect. I hope you, like so many thousands of women ... and men ... feel incredibly proud of yourself. Perfect births we don't usually have but we have really conscious ones, even with moments of 'I lost it'. From now on listen carefully to other women's birth stories and you'll hear how very different most women talk about their birth experiences than how you described yours to me.
I started this email before you emailed that you had a forceps birth after a 'failed ventoose'. I sent your email to the three midwives who inspire their clients to use The PK and they told me you'd make a great Pink Kit Presenter so if you ever feel inclined to get further involved, please do.
I hope you'll be comfortable with my sharing your story (with or without your name) so other women and men learn from you. It's our stories that help so many other expectant families learn why they need to have a good set of birthing and coaching skills no matter what birth they have.
So I'll get on with what I wrote ...
What CKT is trying to do, and you successfully learned, is a whole new language about birth. Instead of shame, blame and guilt about 'what they did or didn't do to me', you have had an experience that has taught you heaps. You'll redo your birth again and again in your head, re-applying your skills to what you now know. For example, where do you think your baby got stuck? And if you had been alone what would you have done? Then ...
Imagine what story you would have told had you not taught yourself these skills. Could you write a little to me about how you'd have handled your birth if you just had the information you got from your childbirth class, care provider or books. Often we have a clear idea how that type of birth would have been and how The PK skills led down a very different path.
One of the great gifts we receive (as women who give birth with PK skills) is an incredible ability to learn quickly from our one-off past birth experience/s. We mentally re-do things and refine these skills for our future one-off birth/s.
What we absolutely KNOW for certain is that the unexpected will happen and each time we are able to adjust quicker to the reality rather than how we'd like things to be and we do that by choosing and using our PK skills more effectively. Hope that makes sense.
What I'd like to do is go through your story and give you some more Pink Kit perceptions about your birth.
I always keep people like yourself in my mind once we've had a correspondence. Our Trust wishes more couples would interact with us. Hopefully our new website, when it gets up, will help people get more involved. It's through stories like yours that help other expectant parents understand the importance of The Pink Kit Package and the skills we absolutely should all be teaching ourselves when we're pregnant.
Sciatica is not uncommon for quite a number of women in the last part of pregnancy. If this happens next time, go to an osteopath, chiropractor, other type of 'adjusting' bodyworker or get accupuncture. As you probably are aware, our birth hormones loosen up our ligaments etc and everything becomes more loose. This loosening up is good for birth but if it throws your back out, it's a bummer and should be worked on constantly whenever it occurs in pregnancy. Some women get sciatica earlier in the next pregnancy. It can be totally exhausting.
Sciatica is sometimes caused by the baby's head coming into the hole (inlet) in the bones and settles down (engagement). This puts pressure on the inside of the bones and causes a pinching of the nerves. There are very specific homeopathics that can help with this as well. Also physiotherapists are often good at giving some exercises. Sometimes we just have to keep working with it, working with it, working with it until we give birth.
TO BE CONTINUED ...
Sponsors
Tuesday, February 6, 2007
Doulas dialogue #7 and The Pink Kit
2 June 2007
My how time flies. Every day is such a gift. Our ability to discuss things with one another and to know we can grow and change.
I'm presently in Washington State in the US and having conversations all the time with people about childbirth. Often people ask me 'What do you do?' We then start to talk about birth ... usually their birth/s.
My life has been full of people's birth stories and that's the strength of The Pink Kit. The skills are about us and not about our professionals. Every single person to whom I explain these skills has two reactions:
No, the Pink Kit skills are NOT like any other type of birth preparation and YES everyone would benefit from them along with whatever else they do to prepare for birth and to become parents.
So let's continue with the conversation with Sonya who works as a Doula.
On 20/01/2007, Sonya responded:
WG,
'I was thinking about the word responsibility and yes, it is not a word that is appropriate for what you are trying to convey. There is a statement from Harry Palmer that I often refer to.
Love is an expression of the willingness to create space in which something is allowed to change.
I endeavour to live my life like this. I base all forms of human service, my interactions my day to day life.I can't force people to change but I can love and appreciate them for who they are and what they have to offer justby being themselves.
No one wants to feel like they are wrong, least of all have someone tell them that they are wrong. So no one is wrong there is just a greater awareness than before. Like you go deeper.
My point, to this is that given enough time and space and appreciation, we all come to our own realisations about ourselves and others. We learn about life.Sometimes it can sting sometimes we gotta fess up, sometimes we are victims.
Human service is about love for another human being and love for many humanbeings.
It all sounds clich'e. But why do we ever do anything. We do it for love. It's why we are here. We live, we love we learn. And around it goes.
Back to PK. If you can just connect with the part in the person that knows, you won't have to sell it to them, teach them or do it on them.
We are not victims, we are all here for a reason. We all have a destiny, or life purpose. We are all working toward that awareness at least. Let's just say that all these expectant parents are looking for something and in their hearts they will know it when they find it. So there is this little spark that says, you will know it when you find it, it will resonate with you and you will know.
Let's entertain that all these parents are just waiting for the PK they just don't know they know it yet. When they see a sales brochure it awakens that knowing inside and they show up. Because they love their baby. We as presenters show up for the training because we love humanity and this is our contribution.
With Much Love and Appreciation
Sonya L.J'
After all this time in corresponding, one more person truly understands that The Pink Kit skills is not about everything else being 'wrong' yet it's about something that so enriches our lives that we are less without it.
Growing a skilled birthing population must be good for our own lives, our families, our societies and our humanity.
My how time flies. Every day is such a gift. Our ability to discuss things with one another and to know we can grow and change.
I'm presently in Washington State in the US and having conversations all the time with people about childbirth. Often people ask me 'What do you do?' We then start to talk about birth ... usually their birth/s.
My life has been full of people's birth stories and that's the strength of The Pink Kit. The skills are about us and not about our professionals. Every single person to whom I explain these skills has two reactions:
- 'Isn't the PK just like ....?'
- 'Wow, if I had only known those skills!'
No, the Pink Kit skills are NOT like any other type of birth preparation and YES everyone would benefit from them along with whatever else they do to prepare for birth and to become parents.
So let's continue with the conversation with Sonya who works as a Doula.
On 20/01/2007, Sonya responded:
WG,
'I was thinking about the word responsibility and yes, it is not a word that is appropriate for what you are trying to convey. There is a statement from Harry Palmer that I often refer to.
Love is an expression of the willingness to create space in which something is allowed to change.
I endeavour to live my life like this. I base all forms of human service, my interactions my day to day life.I can't force people to change but I can love and appreciate them for who they are and what they have to offer justby being themselves.
No one wants to feel like they are wrong, least of all have someone tell them that they are wrong. So no one is wrong there is just a greater awareness than before. Like you go deeper.
My point, to this is that given enough time and space and appreciation, we all come to our own realisations about ourselves and others. We learn about life.Sometimes it can sting sometimes we gotta fess up, sometimes we are victims.
Human service is about love for another human being and love for many humanbeings.
It all sounds clich'e. But why do we ever do anything. We do it for love. It's why we are here. We live, we love we learn. And around it goes.
Back to PK. If you can just connect with the part in the person that knows, you won't have to sell it to them, teach them or do it on them.
We are not victims, we are all here for a reason. We all have a destiny, or life purpose. We are all working toward that awareness at least. Let's just say that all these expectant parents are looking for something and in their hearts they will know it when they find it. So there is this little spark that says, you will know it when you find it, it will resonate with you and you will know.
Let's entertain that all these parents are just waiting for the PK they just don't know they know it yet. When they see a sales brochure it awakens that knowing inside and they show up. Because they love their baby. We as presenters show up for the training because we love humanity and this is our contribution.
With Much Love and Appreciation
Sonya L.J'
After all this time in corresponding, one more person truly understands that The Pink Kit skills is not about everything else being 'wrong' yet it's about something that so enriches our lives that we are less without it.
Growing a skilled birthing population must be good for our own lives, our families, our societies and our humanity.
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