Another Pink Kit Story

30 Jan 2007

We received this email from a woman who bought one of the first Pink Kit Packages. It's always terrific when moms and dads get back in touch with us. Birth stories are absolutely essential so people are not confused that 'perfect' birth must be the outcome. Every breath we can take in a relaxed manner, is one more positive experience.

Notice that when this woman stops being able to keep her focused breathing, she begins to lose her sense of control. Pain is a strong motivator for losing control.

Curiously and quite unique to childbirth is our ability to go back and realize how we permitted ourselves to lose control at the moment and know next time we'll stay more in control. This almost always happens when something unexpected happens in birth.

For this woman the two really unexpected things were ... being told not to push for an hour and then having rectal spasms.

The reality is childbirth is full of the unexpected and that is our real challenge ... how to bring our skills into an experience that isn't as we imagined. Regardless this is a very positive Pink Kit birth. This woman and I will correspond for a bit so you'll get more of the story as well.

'First of all to say that I thoroughly enjoyed the Pink Kit and felt that it did help me stay focused with most of the labour, ie. 1st stage. The material was science-based yet intuitive and just made plain sense. I enjoyed "getting in touch" with my body (esp internal work) and feeling that I was preparing myself for the upcoming birth and equipping myself with as many skills as possible.

In terms of the material I thought that the essential preparations and video were a bit difficult to understand (I had to watch the video many times to finally understand everything), but nonetheless useful and definitely got you in touch with your body. I thought the Managing Skills and Companion Guide were fantastic. MS for the tips and suggestions and what to
expect in very honest language. It gave a good idea of how the pain and labour might be, and through the stories gave you an idea of how you and your partnermight work together. CG highlighted the main points and helped to reiterate all the important information in a nutshell. I used it to brush up on what I had learnt in the last weeks, just to enforce the manouevres. Kate's Cat is great and I really felt my sacrum opening when I practiced it. The NF was especially useful for practicing the breathing, although I didn't do the exercises for language and touch (I found it difficult to sit down with my partner and do the exercises). Which brings me to the point that I think the Pink Kit works best when you're partner/birthing companion is 100% involved.

Although my husband was very keen on helping me through labour, he was not so committed to practising the skills regularly, so when it came to the birth and I was in the throes of labour (and not coping), he became emotionally so involved that the skills were forgotten as they weren't second nature. Before the birth I felt that if I knew the material, I would be able to use it throughout the labour and/or advise my husband on how to help me. Little did I know that when the labour pain gets so strong that it took over all my thinking, I was no longer capable of giving orders or ask for what I needed!! Without passing on blame, I feel that at that point I really needed my partner to take over and be strong, to have guided me through the contractions, one at a time, be the rational, objective one. Hard to do when you see your loved one struggling so much.

My advice for other couples: practice make perfect!'